WWE Recap: Wrestlemania 2 (April 1986)

Wrestlemania 2 comes to us from three different venues, for some reason. New York, Chicago (basically), and LA are all scenes for tonight's action. Vince McMahon greets us in the ring, and introduces actress Susan Saint James as his co-host from New York. Ray Charles sang "America the Beautiful" before we got started. After a couple of introductions, we finally get to our first match, from New York.


Magnificent Muraco w/ Mr Fuji vs "Mr Wonderful" Paul Orndorff

The two strongmen trade bodyslams to start things off. The crowd pops big time for Orndorff as he hits a back drop and a couple of arm drags. Muraco makes a couple of attempts to get going, but Orndorff reverses each one and maintains control. Both men wind up spilling onto the floor, where they brawl. Orndorff shoves Muraco into the ringpost, but in the meantime the ref has counted both of them out. Winner: Double count-out

It wasn't a bad opener. The crowd was pretty into it, and both wrestlers got to show a few moves off. They brawled outside the ring, and set up a rematch down the road. The crowd chanted "bullshit" loudly when the count-out was announced.

George "The Animal" Steele vs Randy "Macho Man" Savage w/ Elizabeth (Intercontinental Championship)

Savage had recently captured the title away from Tito Santana, at a taped show. As was his way at the time, Savage starts things out by running away from Steele repeatedly. He finally catches the Macho Man and begins biting him on the ankle. The Animal gets distracted by Elizabeth early on, and Macho takes advantage, jumping him from behind and causing him to get tangled in the ropes. He then starts to stomp on Steele's head. Savage hits an awkward looking body cross from the top rope, but Steele kicks out of the pin. The Animal then throws Savage out of the ring, but Randy climbs under the ring, out the other side, and once again attacks Steele from behind. He uses a bouquet of flowers as a weapon, but that only angers Steele, who bites Savage on the arm this time. Then he tears open the turnbuckle and shoves the padding in Savage's face. Yet again, however, he's drawn to Elizabeth and it gets him nailed from behind, this time from the ropes. Macho man bodyslams Steele, then climbs the ropes. He hits the patented elbow from the top rope and covers. Unbelievably, The Animal kicks out. The crowd pops for that. Steele attacks in the corner, but as the ref tries to break them up, Savage pulls Steele's legs out from under him and pins him using the ropes for leverage. The ref doesn't see it, and Savage gets the three count. Winner: Randy "Macho Man" Savage

Savage winning is the right call, but using the exact same circumstance that was used at the first Wrestlemania was weird. He could have cheated another way. Fans were certain to have noticed. The match wasn't bad. Steele is limited, but entertaining, and Savage is great.




George Wells vs Jake "The Snake" Roberts

Roberts had just joined the WWF a month prior, so this was his big introduction. The two men begin brawling immediately, and Wells gets in some decent offense, including a nice head scissor takedown. Wells his a monster power slam and goes for the pin, but Roberts manages to kick out. Roberts flees the ring and Wells gives chase. The Snake jumps back in, and catches Wells when he tries to enter. Then he hits the DDT (his finisher, and he does it better than anyone) for the three count. Winner: Jake "The Snake" Roberts

After the match, we get to see Damien, who wraps around Wells and does what pythons do. It was a nice debut for Roberts, who would go on to eventually be one of the most popular wrestlers in the WWF.




Rowdy Roddy Piper vs Mr T

Well, I wasn't a fan of boxing before, I'm not a fan now, but here we go anyway. Lots of celebrities on hand for this one. Introducing them all took a bit of time. As was predictable, the boxing was ugly. Piper takes a few extra shots after a break is called for. As round one ends, the two fighters have to be separated by the trainers. Piper takes control in round two, and starts to land some haymakers. As the round winds down, he knocks Mr T to the mat, but T gets up at the seven count. A decently loud "Roddy" chant breaks out. Round two ends with Piper in firm control. In the third, it's Mr T's turn. He lands some big shots in the corner, and Piper is down. Later in the round, T lands a thunderous left that drops Piper, and he falls out of the ring. He gets back in time, and we go to round four. In the fourth, they take turns punching each other in the face until Piper knocks down the ref. He then bodyslams Mr T and the bell is rung. Winner: Mr T

This was uninteresting and predictable. A brawl breaks out in the ring after the decision, but nothing really happened. An actual match could have happened instead, and it would have been so much better.




We shift venues to Chicago, Illinois and Gorilla Monsoon. Actress Cathly Lee Crosby will sit with Monsoon at ringside.

Velvet McIntyre vs Fabulous Moolah (Women's Championship)

A little backstory: A few months prior, Wendi Richter had been the champion, but fell victim to a real-life screwjob. The WWF and Richter had a contentious relationship, and the WWF says she refused to sign a new contract, and since she was the champion, they had to get it away from her. Richter was schedule to fight "The Spider" in November. During the match, the Spider deviated from the script and the ref quickly counted her pinned. The Spider turned out to be Moolah. Richter promptly left the WWF with hard feelings she kept for more than two decades. Anyway, Moolah opens this match on the attack. McIntyre fires back with a series of dropkicks, but misses a dive from the top rope. Moolah takes advantage and gets the pin. Winner: Fabulous Moolah

Moolah is good, but no other woman wrestler at this time is able to make a good match. McIntyre looked awkward in most of her moves.


Flag Match: Nikolai Volkoff w/ Fred Blassie vs Corporal Kirchner

A loud "USA" chant breaks out pre-match. Volkoff takes control early, tossing Kirchner out of the ring, then beating him outside of it. Back inside, Kirchner seems to be bleeding from the forehead. In his clouded vision, he punches the referee, who goes down. Blassie attempt to toss his cane in for Volkoff to use, but Kirchner intercepts it and blasts the Russion with it. The ref rolls over and makes a three count. Winner: Corporal Kirchner

The gimmick here was dumb. Both men flew their flags before the match, but the winner gets to..fly it again? D'oh! The match wasn't much either. It was short, and there was very little wrestling. Chicago is 0 for 2.




20-Man Battle Royal

This was a mix of NFL players and wrestlers. I'm not going to list every participant. The lady from the "Where's the beef?" commercial was introduced as timekeeper, and tried to say her famous line, but her mic was off, and Mean Gene just went right on. NFL Greats Too Tall Jones and Dick Butkus were introduced as guest referees. The actual wrestlers involved, for the most part, are jobbers. Bret Hart makes his pay per view debut here. Big John Studd, the Iron Sheik, and Andre the Giant are notable. On the players side of things, William "The Refrigerator" Perry got a huge pop. It's a mess to begin. Studd and Andre go at it pretty early, and that encounter got some applause. Several guys continually gang up on the Refrigerator, but aren't able to eliminate him. Bruno Sammartino eliminates the Sheik to a big pop, but then Studd takes out Sammartino. Studd also elimiates Perry. Perry asks for a handshake from Studd, and Studd gives it to him, but Perry yanks him out of the ring, causing Studd's elimination as well. Russ Francis is the last football player standing, and he's left with Andre, Bret Hart, and Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart. Andre gets tied in the ropes, and the Hart Foundation takes out Francis. They team up on Andre, but he fights back. He eliminates the Anvil with a big boot. Bret Hart tries to climb the ropes, but Andre gets to him and tosses him out and onto his tag team partner. Winner: Andre the Giant

These are usually a bit messy, as it's almost impossible to do actual moves. Add in the fact that most of the wrestlers were unknowns or non-factors, and Chicago is 0 for 3. The crowd did pop big for William Perry and for Andre's win, so there's that.


 Greg "The Hammer" Valentine and Brutus Beefcake vs The British Bulldogs (Tag Team Championship)

Ozzy Osbourne is the in the Bulldogs' corner, so that's cool. Davey Boy Smith and Greg Valentine start out trading attacks, but Smith gains control with a couple of power moves. He hits a nice snap suplex, then tags in the Dynamite Kid. Valentine escapes the ring to buy some time, then gets in a few moves before Davey Boy tags back in and forces Valentine to tag out. Beefcake gets picked up over the head of Smith and slammed to the mat. The Kid tags in and goes to work. He gets a couple of near-falls. Smith gets another near-fall, but Beefcake manages to tag Valentine back in, and he hits an elbow off the ropes. It's the Hammer's turn to get a near-fall after some elbows. Valentine locks in a headlock, but Smith makes a tag, and Dynamite comes in on fire. The Bulldogs hit a double shoulder block, but still only get a two count. He gets the sunset flip, but again, just two. Two more pin attempts, and still can't get him. Valentine gets some help from Beefcake and hits the Kid with a pile-driver, but then HE kicks out. Now Valentine climbs to the top rope, but Dynamite catches him and slams him from the ropes. He goes for the pin, but all four men wind up in the ring. They take out Beefcake and Davey Boy hits a running power slam on Valentine, but once again, he kicks out. Valentine reverses an attempt to throw him to the corner and Davey Boy hurts his shoulder. The heels take advantage and begin to work on it. Then the Hammer gets cocky. He pins Smith, but pulls him up before the three count, instead of taking the win. Valentine gets up and puts a standing headlock on Smith, but Smith tosses him toward the corner where Dynamite Kid stands. The Kid's head meets Valentine's head and both men drop. Davey Boy makes the cover. One-two-three. We have new champions. Winners: The British Bulldogs

The crowd exploded for the finish. The ex-champs complained to and threatened the referee, but to no avail. Ozzy and Albano claim the belts, then the champs, once they get into the ring. This was an excellent match. Lots of close calls on both sides, and plenty of time given for their story. The Bulldogs know how to work a match. Well done.



Now we make one more switch in location, from Chicago to Los Angeles. The final matches will happen here, under the watchful eye of Jesse "The Body" Ventura and Elvira, who will be the guest announcer. Sigh. Lord Alfred Hayes is also there.


Hercules w/ Fred Blassie vs Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat

Hercules makes his debut to a nation audience here. He attacks before the bell, blindsiding Steamboat. The Dragon soon recovers, though, and uses his speed to take control. A couple of Hercules' spots look awkward, and Steamboat has to help get them correct. He works on the arm of Hercules, then hits a nice-looking suplex. Out of nowhere, Hercules hits a huge clothesline to get ahead. He drops Steamboat neck-first on the ropes. Steamboat tries to recover, and picks his opponent up for a bodyslam, but Hercules falls on the Dragon's chest and gets a two-count. Steamboat tries to fight back with some chops, but takes another clothesline. He still can't get the pin though. He climbs the ropes, but Steamboat gets his knees up. Then the Dragon climbs up top. He hits a flying cross body for the win. Winner: Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat

Hercules has power, and they showed it off, but he doesn't have a lot of moves. Steamboat sold the power moves nicely. This wasn't really very good, but it wasn't awful either.




Adorable Adrian Adonis w/ Jimmy Hart vs Uncle Elmer

 Elmer gets a pretty loud pop upon entering. The big hillbilly strikes first, and Adonis bounces off the turnbuckles, falls to the floor, and then goes flying out of the ring. He's selling for all he's worth. He comes back in and immediately gets knocked back outside again. Adonis gets tied up in the ropes, and Elmer pounds on him. He also hits an avalanche in the corner. Adonis has had basically no offense thus far. He goes for the leg drop, but Adonis moves, then climbs the ropes. He hits him with what the announcers called a headbutt, but didn't look like anything really. Anyway, it's good enough for the three count. Winner: Adorable Adrian Adonis

This was definitely not a good match, but Adrian Adonis deserves a ton of credit for the way he sells his opponents' moves. He flew all over the ring, and outside it, in this show.




Terry and Hoss Funk w/ Jimmy Hart vs Junkyard Dog and Tito Santana

Hoss and JYD start out in the ring. Almost immediately, all four men are in the ring. JYD bodyslams both heels, and the ring is cleared. Back in, we get Tito and Terry. Terry gives a few chops, but Santana gains an edge by reversing a toss to the ropes and out go the Funk brothers again. JYD gets tagged in and repeatedly bashes Terry's face into the turnbuckles. The crowd counts along with him. The babyface team stays in complete control of the match until Terry Funk takes a shortcut by kneeing Santana from outside the ring. Jimmy Hart gets involved as well, getting some hits in outside the ring. Terry gets a two count after a suplex, but when he tries another one, Santana reverses it. After some back and forth, Hoss gets in and hits a double-underhook suplex that looked nice. Terry comes and inflict some punishment of his own, but Tito jukes his way to the corner and makes the hot tag. JYD comes in and nails both Funks. Terry tries to choke him with a rope, but gets a headbutt and tossed out of the ring for his trouble. Terry then gets bodyslammed onto a table. All four men wind up in the ring, and with the referee distracted trying to get them out, Jimmy Hart tosses the megaphone to Terry Funk, who slams it into JYD's head. He covers, and gets the win. Winner: Terry and Hoss Funk

 The crowd game a loud chant of "bullshit" after the match. The crowd was mostly into it, but it wasn't really very good. The ending was solid, but that was about it.




Steel Cage Match: King Kong Bundy w/ Bobby "The Brain" Heenan vs Hulk Hogan (World Heavyweight Championship)

Tommy Lasorda is the guest ring announcer. Ricky Schroeder is the guest timekeeper. Robert Conrad is the guest referee. As always, the crowd eats up Hogan's entrance. He comes into the ring by climbing over the cage, stopping at the top to rip off his shirt. Hogan's ribs are taped up from the beating Bundy gave him a few months ago. They punch each other in the middle of the ring, then Hogan hits a few chops and a big boot. He then chokes Bundy with the straps of his ring attire. A few more chops follow, but Bundy gains control by attacking the injured ribs. He stomps Hogan, attacking Hogan's obvious weak spot, then tries to make his escape from the cage. Hogan manages to prevent it, but Bundy picks him up and slams him into the cage. He then removes the wrap that the Hulkster was wearing and chokes him with it. He tries to escape again, but again Hogan prevents it. This time, Hogan goes back on offense, ramming Bundy face-first into the cage. Bundy is busted open now, blood flying as Hogan pounds his forehead with his fist. Three more rides into the cage for Bundy, and Hogan chokes Bundy some more. Then he goes for a bodyslam, but it's too much and Bundy falls on the champion. He goes for the door, but one more time, Hogan recovers in time. Bundy tosses Hogan into the corner, and follows with a big avalanche. Then he hits him with the splash on the mat. Bundy tries to reach the door, but Hogan holds onto his leg. Bundy drops a few fists into the back of Hogan's head, but, uh oh, it's time to hulk up. He throws Hogan into the corner and hits him with another avalance, but no. It has no effect on the Hulkster. Bundy tries a kick, but nothing. Now, Hogan throws Bundy into the corner, and when Bundy comes bouncing out, Hogan is waiting, scoops him up, and bodyslams the behemoth. The crowd loses their minds. Hogan drops the leg, and up the cage he goes. Bundy tries to stop him, but takes a kick to the chest, and down he goes. Heenan tries to slow him down so Bundy can make it to the door, but no luck. Hogan drops and the bell rings. Winner: Hulk Hogan

OK. These two big guys have so few moves that they can do, but this was pretty magical. The brutality of the cage match masks their small move-sets, and allows them to just tell the story. It was predictable, yes, but Bundy got close so many times, but when Hogan hit the bodyslam, the crowd exploded. Was it one of the WWE's best ever? No, but it was fun, and the crowd's reaction made it easy to get excited.




Overall Impressions

Again, the WWF was loaded with a lot of old school big guys with little in the way of ability. This is especially noticeable in these mega-cards. There were bright spots, though. The Bulldogs put on a good show and earned a run with the tag belts. The debut of Jake "The Snake" Roberts was fun. And, of course, we closed on a high note. A lot of the rest was just filler.

Winners: 
The British Bulldogs: Winning the belts at Wrestlemania was very cool, and very much deserved.
Cage Matches: Neither Bundy, nor Hogan can wrestle, but they put on a nice show in the cage. The crowd loved it.

Losers: 
Randy Savage: Instead of a great feud with someone he can put on a show with, he gets stuck in a long, pointless feud with George "The Animal" Steel. Ugh.
Boxing: Every boxer in the world should have came and kicked every wrestler's ass.

 


Things I Would Have Changed

Immediately stop all the boxing matches. They make no sense, story-wise, and they're not interesting to watch.

The women's matches are so bad. I don't want to say there shouldn't be a women's title, but they need to take more time and develop some talented women.

The NFL players added nothing to the show, except a chance for the fans in Chicago to cheer for players from their team. I would have just had a match with the Hart Foundation and Killer Bees. Let the players be special refs or something.