WWE Recap: Saturday Night Main Event (March 1986)

We pick things up with Mr T punching a heavy bag, and Mean Gene trying to get an interview. Mr T doesn't have much to say, sending Gene away quickly. That leads into the opening montage.

Vince McMahon and Jesse "The Body" Ventura set the night up for us, and we get more interviews with Rowdy Roddy Piper (representing Cowboy Bob Orton) and Mr T, who will compete in a boxing match tonight.


Mr T vs Cowboy Bob Orton

Mr T enters to Hulk Hogan's music. Mr T takes a knee in the corner to pray but Orton starts hitting him from behind. There's not much in terms of play-by-play to give here. They punch each other a lot. Orton takes some cheap shots, including a thumb to the eye. Piper gets up on the apron early in round two to distract the referee so Orton can use a knee. Then, as the ref gets tied up in an argument with Mr T's corner crew, Orton holds T so Piper can take a shot. Mr T moves and Piper punches Orton. Mr T levels Piper and punches Orton right out of the ring. Orton gets counted out. Winner: Mr T

Post-match, Piper enters the ring to fight Mr T, but it was just to distract him. Orton attacks with a knee from behind. The two heels double-team T and Piper uses a belt to whip a the prone Mr T. A trainer manages to get them out of the ring. I'm not a boxing fan, so this really wasn't very entertaining, but they continue to set up further matches.




King Kong Bundy vs Steve Gatorwolf

It sucks that we get a jobber here, but at least he has the greatest name ever. This was only slightly longer than Bundy's Wrestlemania match from last year. He chops Gatorwolf a few times, then splashes him in the corner for the pin. Standard squash. Winner: King Kong Bundy

Bundy continues to challenge Hulk Hogan, and they'll meet soon enough. They continue to build Bundy as unstoppable in anticipation. It doesn't make much of a match, though.


Magnificent Muraco w/ Bobby "The Brain" Heenen vs Hulk Hogan (WWF Championship)

Heenan is standing in for Mr Fuji, who is ill. Muraco takes the early advantage, with repeated slams to Hogan's back. Hogan fights back with a couple of punches and a back drop. He also nails Heenan with a big right hand as The Brain climbed up on the apron. Muraco then exits the ring after an atomic drop. The fight on the outside a bit, then trade blows back inside. Hogan gets a near-fall, then locks in a bear hug. Muraco gains control after a head butt to Hogan's nose. He drives a couple of knees into the champ's face, then kicks him in the ribs. He continues to punish Hogan with a series of punches, kicks, and an occasional wrestling move, until he gets a near-fall. Then, it's time to Hulk up. He no-sells several punches, then goes on the offensive while the crowd screams. He lands a couple of chops, then the big boot to put Muraco on the mat. He hits the leg drop, then goes for the pin. Heenan runs in and kicks Hogan, and the ref rings the bell. Winner: Hulk Hogan via disqualification

As Hogan goes after Heenan after the bell, King Kong Bundy enters the ring. He has been calling Hogan out the entire show. Muraco holds the Hulkster in the corner and Bundy hits him with a huge splash. Then again. Then once more. He falls to the mat, and Bundy crushes him there too. Finally, some other wrestlers, including the British Bulldogs, run in to tend to Hogan, while the heels make their way to the back. The match was just standard fare, but the attack on Hogan was nice, and sets up their match at Wrestlemania, with Bundy looking unbeatable, and Hulk looking vulnerable.

After a commercial, we're shown Hogan on a stretcher, being loaded into an ambulance. It's all built up as very serious.


British Bulldogs w/ Lou Albano vs Greg "The Hammer" Valentine and Brutus Beefcake w/ Johnny Valiant (Tag Team Championship)

 The Bulldogs get an early near-fall, but Valentine's foot is on the rope. The Dynamite Kid tags in, and gets another near fall, but Valentine uses a low blow to gain an advantage. Beefcake tags in, but it's time for him to take some punishment, at the hands of Davey Boy Smith. This continues for a bit. Smith shows off the power by lifting Valentine over his head for a power slam. Dynamite Kid hits a big head butt and a knee from the middle rope, but Valentine continues to kick out of pin attempts. After quite a bit of abuse, Valentine hits a revers atomic drop and tags in Beefcake. The managers get into it outside the ring, and everybody winds up mixing it up before getting back inside. Davey Boy hits an impressive drop kick from the ropes, but still only gets a two-count. After a couple of minutes, the situations reverse, and Valentine locks in the Figure Four, but Dynamite Kid breaks it up, much to Jesse Ventura's chagrin. Then, the Hammer drops an elbow from the middle rope, but it's the face team's turn to kick out in a close call. Now it's the heels who gang up on the Kid, but they can't get a three-count either. Valentine goes for the Figure Four again, but gets kicked into the turnbuckle. Dynamite Kid then lands a dropkick from the top rope. He goes for the pin, but Valentine's foot is on the rope. All four men enter briefly, but Davey Boy kicks Beefcake out, Dynamite throws Valentine to the ropes, but they hit each other at the same time, knocking both out. Valentine's leg, however, lands on Dynamite Kid's shoulder, so the refs makes the count. Winners: Greg "The Hammer" Valentine and Brutus Beefcake

That match was, pardon the pun, dynamite. Then they ruined it with a goofy ending that came out of nowhere. Why do they keep doing this?




"Real American" Music Video

We are treated to the cheesiest video of all time. It features Hogan's theme song with images of Hogan playing the guitar over backgrounds like the Grand Canyon and the Liberty Bell. Also, we get images of Abe Lincoln, Martin Luther King Jr, etc. Lots of American Flags, or course, are shown. That was 3 minutes I'll never get back.




"Adorable" Adrian Adonis w/ Jimmy Hart vs Junkyard Dog

 The last time we saw Adrian Adonis, he was a biker. Now...he's not. The crowd continues to loved JYD. The Dog attacks first, hammering Adonis with some shots in the corner, then again when Adonis becomes tangled in the ropes. Adonis does get in some offense, but winds up taking a ride over the ropes again. JYD mocks Adonis' new, effeminate style in the ring.  Adonis gets dragged back in, but Hart, holding onto his wrestler's ankle, gets dragged in with him. Both men take an impressive bump over the ropes again. After a commercial break, JYD gets a near-fall, but Adonis gets a foot on the rope. Adonis hits JYD, then distracts the ref while Hart uses one of Adonis' sashes to tie the Dog's foot to the rope. The ref hilariously pulls Adonis up by his hair as he is choking JYD. The ref gets knocked out by an inadvertent foot. Hart climbs on the apron, but JYD throws Adonis into Hart, then gets the pin. Winner: Junkyard Dog

After it's over, the heels use the megaphone on JYD. The match was solid, and Adonis showed some tremendous agility. Not a bad final match.


We close with a report from Mean Gene on Hulk Hogan, who is apparently injured from the King Kong Bundy attack. That's how we close out. Wrestlemania is next.


Overall Impressions

There were really no bad matches in this episode. The boxing match was silly. Just have them wrestle. But it was short and ultimately furthered the story. Hogan matches are never "good" but the post-match fireworks were nicely done, and did a great job setting up Wrestlemania. Adonis vs JYD was a huge surprise. JYD is so limited, but Adonis threw himself around the ring and sold the Dog's moves big time. And of course, everything the Bulldog's do is gold, together or solo. Also, no dumb gimmicks like in previous episodes.

Winners:
The British Bulldogs: They looked strong, and will prove to be one of the better tag teams in the WWF.
King Kong Bundy: This is the last event before Wrestlemania, so making Bundy look strong was the right call.

Losers:
Music: What an awful music video.




Things I Would Have Changed

The ending in the Tag Team Championship match was clunky and rushed. The right team won, but it could have been done better.

Just let Mr T and Cowboy Bob Orton wrestle. The boxing angle made no sense, other than it ties into Mr T's movie experience.