WWE Recap: Saturday Night Main Event (March 1987)

After the opening sequence, Vince McMahon and Jesse "The Body" Ventura greet us with insults for each other. They hype the 20-man battle royal featuring Hulk Hogan and Andre the Giant, who are now enemies with Andre being represented by Bobby "The Brain" Heenan. Hogan has some words for us.


George "The Animal" Steele vs Randy "Macho Man" Savage w/ Elizabeth (Intercontinental Championship)

The championship belt is on the line, and so are the services of Elizabeth, which is weird. She comes to ringside last and will be sitting in a special chair that she has to climb up into. George comes down to help her into the seat, but Savage attacks with an elbow from the top rope. The Macho Man then takes Elizabeth's hand and starts to lead her down the aisle, but is met by Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat, who forces them back to the ring area. Steele is waiting for Savage in the ring and meets him with a shot to the back of the head. Savage eats three straight turnbuckles, then The Animal tears into one for real, to get to the insides. This earns him a knee in the back. Now, Savage climbs the ropes, and drives both hands into Steele's neck. Savage tries to fight like his opponent, grabbing his face, but Steele grabs his face back, and then bites Savage on the arm. After a sort-of choke slam, The Animal tears open another turnbuckle. This time, he gives Macho a face full of foam. Again, however, Steele goes to Elizabeth, and gets attacked from behind. Savage rams him into the steel barricade, then tips the chair Elizabeth had been sitting in down on him. He gets back in the ring as the referee counts out George. Winner: Randy "Macho Man" Savage

These are kinda entertaining with Steele's antics, but this has gone on long enough. After the match, The Animal runs Savage off and opens up a poster with Elizabeth on it in the ring, which is weird.




20-Man Battle Royal

Once again, I'm not going to list all of these competitors. It does, just as a footnote, contain one of the first appearances of the Demolition Tag Team. As soon as the bell rings, Andre, Orndorff, Hercules, and Honky Tonk Man all go for Hulk Hogan. He fights back, though, and immediately tosses Honky Tonk Man out. Andre tosses Sika (shrugs). Haku of the Islanders is next, also thrown out by Andre. The Heenan wrestlers are ganging up on Hogan while Andre clears guys out. Lanny Poffo is the next Andre victim, and he's bleeding like crazy from a headbutt. Hogan eliminates Ron Bass. Then it's Andre's turn again, as he hip posses Blackjack Mulligan over the ropes. It's back to the champion, who flips Nikolai Volkoff up and out. Andre tosses B Brian Blair of the Killer Bees, then Hogan tosses Paul Orndorff. Nobody except those two has eliminated anybody. Finally, they meet in the middle, and Andre headbutts Hogan in the back of the head, then tosses him out. Hogan is out. Then, every other wrestler gangs up on Andre, and he's taken out as well. Now, the eliminations come faster. The final four are Koko B Ware, Hercules, Billy Jack Haynes, and one of the Demolition guys. Hercules takes Koko out, and we're at three remaining. The final two are Billy Jack and Hercules. Bobby Heenan gets on the apron, and Haynes lets himself get distracted by it. Hercules eliminates him while he's looking the wrong way. Winner: Hercules

That ending is monumentally stupid, and overdone at this point. Literally, hundreds of matches have been lost by a guy turning his back on his opponent for no real reason. It ruins the match.


King Kong Bundy w/ Bobby "The Brain" Heenan vs Jake "The Snake" Roberts

Very early on, Bundy shows some fear when he gets close to Damien's bag. The first few minutes of the match are just Roberts trying to avoid Bundy. They lock up a few times, but as Bundy starts to gain control, Jake gives him a few kicks to the mid-section to break it up. Finally, the big man clubs Roberts in the back and then puts him in a headlock. Then he throws The Snake to the turnbuckles, but catches a knee. Now Roberts lands a few punches, and then an uppercut knocks Bundy to the mat. He goes for Damien, but can't get to him. Instead, Bobby Heenan grabs Damien's bag and takes off down the aisle. Roberts immediately leaves the ring and gives chase. After a commercial, Roberts is coming back to the ring with Damien in his hands. He somehow wasn't counted out. He rolls in the ring, but is met by Bundy, who stomps on him. He also lands three consecutive clotheslines. He tries for a fourth, but misses and slams into the turnbuckle. Both men are down. Roberts is up first, and starts to land punches on Bundy, taking him down again. He goes for Damien again, but the referee interferes and gets shoved for his efforts. Now Bundy comes back with some right hands, but misses an elbow drop. Both men get up, but Jake grabs Bundy and lands a DDT. Now, Roberts does get Damien, but Heenan manages to help Bundy out of the ring to avoid the snake. Winner: King Kong Bundy via disqualification

This was pretty well done. Jake looked strong, and hit his finisher, but Bundy still got the win, so nobody was hurt much. Heenan stealing Damien was out of nowhere, and was irrelevant, since Jake got him back and didn't get counted out. It served no purpose.




Tito Santana and Danny Spivey vs The Hart Foundation w/ Jimmy Hart (Tag Team Championship)

Danny Davis, the former referee suspended for cheating, also accompanies the Hart Foundation. Spivey and Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart start things off. The two combatants trade clotheslines, then Neidhart tries to whip Spivey into the corner, and Bret Hart's foot, but it's reversed, and The Anvil eats The Hitman's foot instead. Bret tags in, but he immediately gets whipped into the corner where Santana waits and takes a big hit. The babyfaces make a couple of quick tags and have control. Spivey goes for a pin, but Neidhart breaks it up, and allows Bret to gain the advantage. Spivey gets dropped neck-first on the top rope, then gets a backbreaker, but a pin attempt comes up short. Tito Santana randomly comes into the ring, and as the referee pushes him back out, the heels double-team Spivey. He kicks out of another pin attempt, though. Just as Spivey manages to get over for a tag, Neidhart jumps into the ring, distracting the ref. Spivey's tag isn't seen, and Santana is made to leave again. Behind the ref's back, The Anvil holds Spivey, but as Bret runs at him, Spivey moves and Bret slams into Neidhart. Now, Santana is able to tag in, and pounds Hart in the corner. He takes The Hitman down, then nails The Anvil when he tries to come in. Danny Davis gets on the apron and now he's dropped too. Santana locks in the Figure Four, but Jimmy Hart climbs into the ring. As the ref is distracted, Davis sneaks in and hits Santana with the megaphone. Bret gets the pin. Winners: The Hart Foundation

Part of the fun of these days of the WWF, was the outlandish managers, but they are poorly used during this time. Every single match has these kind of antics where we're supposed to believe that a referee is really so stupid that they can't figure out what's happening. Again, it just kills perfectly good matches.




The Iron Sheik w/ Slick vs Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat

We come from commercial straight into a scene where Randy Savage is up on the ring apron yelling at Steamboat. The referee makes him leave, but The Sheik attacks from behind. Savage, meanwhile, joins McMahon and Ventura at the announcer's table. In the ring, The Dragon takes control with a back drop. He locks Sheik into a headlock, but the ref breaks it at the ropes. They wind up outside, where Steamboat gets slammed into the steps. Sheik suplexes Steamboat back into the ring, but only gets a two-count. The Sheik locks on an abdominal stretch, but Steamboat breaks loose with a hip toss. Now, it's his turn on offense, and he drops The Sheik to the mat, then climbs the ropes. He flies through the air, and lands....a punch. (WTF?) That's enough, though. Winner: Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat

After the match, which sucked, Steamboat and Macho Man have some words, but nothing really happens.


We close the show with a tribute to Rowdy Roddy Piper, who has announced his retirement from the WWF. We get a nice little highlight package of Piper's greatest hits.


Overall Impressions

As has become the norm with these Saturday Night shows, not much of note really happens, and there aren't very good in terms of wrestling, but do advance a few storylines. The Hogan vs Andre fight was the main purpose here, and they succeeded. I wish the matches were better.

Winners: 
Hercules: This may not have been a star-studded battle royal, but winning gives Hercules a nice little bump.
Roddy Piper: He's leaving for Hollywood, but got a nice sendoff.

Losers: 
Hulk Hogan: Not really, but he didn't win for a change, so I'm throwing it in.
Randy Savage: Yep. He's still stick fighting The Animal.

 


Things I Would Have Changed

Stop with the managerial interference endings. They're used so often at this point that you just expect it going in. Professional wrestling requires the suspension of belief in order to work, but it's to the point of absurdity.

Put better wrestlers in these battle royals. Outside of Hogan and Andre, there were so few people I cared about.