WWE Recap: Saturday Night Main Event (March 1988)

We open with the usual introductions from the wrestlers participating in the show. Hulk Hogan tells the camera that "He will never bow. He will never break." I'm guessing that's where Breaking Benjamin got the idea for the song. Ok. Maybe not. Anyway.....


Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake vs Greg "The Hammer" Valentine w/ Jimmy Hart

These two are former tag team partners, and they did mention that in the pre-match interviews, which was good story-telling. Beefcake's ring attire leaves little to the imagination, and Jesse Ventura asks Vince McMahon if that excites him. Vince responds that Elizabeth excites him. Wild. As the action starts, they have a little back and forth. Brutus hits a high knee that takes The Hammer off his feet. A boot to the face follows, and Beefcake struts like Ric Flair. A pair of atomic drops are hilariously sold by Valentine. The referee steps in between the two as they grapple in the corner, and Valentine takes the opportunity to get in a cheap shot. The Hammer hits an elbow drop from the ropes and gets a two-count. He puts Beefcake in a Figure Four, but they're next to the ropes, so he has to break the hold. He was able to do some damage first through. Brutus goes to the floor, and Honky Tonk Man comes to ringside to insult his Wrestlemania opponent. After a commercial break, Valentine tosses Beefcake back into the ring. He continues to soften Beefcake up by working on the leg. He tries to lock in the Figure Four again, but gets kicked into the turnbuckle for his trouble. Beefcake fights back and then locks in the Sleeper. Valentine fights his way to the ropes and both men fall to the floor. The Barber gets in a few shots and tosses Valentine back in, but when he tries to follow, Jimmy Hart grabs his leg. Beefcake chases Hart, and gets attacked by Valentine from behind. Valentine hits a belly-to-back suplex and the referee counts three. However, the ruling is that Beefcake got his shoulder up, while Valentine's were still down, so Brutus wins. Winner: Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake

After the match, Beefcake sneaks up on Valentine and cuts a handful of hair, and Jimmy Hart acts as though he was shaved bald. The match itself wasn't much. Valentine just isn't very good at this point in his career.


Hulk Hogan vs King Harley Race w/ Bobby "The Brain" Heenan

Hogan may not have the belt, but Hulkamania is alive and well. The crowd explodes for his entrance. When he gets to ringside, he chases Heenan to the back. Race tries to attack Hogan as he enters the ring, but it has no effect. He tries a series of headbutts, and they seem to stagger the former champion, but he suddenly stops and stares at Race, who looks scared. Now it's Hogan's turn, and he hits a series of punches and clotheslines. He takes the King out of the ring and slams him into the ringpost, then goes after Heenan again. He pays for it this time. Race hits him from behind, and goes for a piledriver. Hogan reverses it, though and Race drops to the floor. Back in the ring, the Hulkster is still in control. He lands a few hard chops, then uses the tape on his hand to choke Race. Heenan gets involved, and Hogan pulls him up on the apron, but Race hits him from behind once again. These guys really never learn. Race takes control and hits a nice belly-to-belly suplex. Then, he hits a piledriver. He tosses Hogan out of the ring, and places him on a table. He attempts to jump from the apron onto Hogan, but Hulk moves and Race smashes down on the table, which only breaks about halfway. This had to be one of the first times a guy went through a table on national television. They get back inside the ring, and Race continues to punch Hogan. The King hits a headbutt from the top rope, but gets just a two-count. Race attacks again, but now it's time for Hogan to hulk up. He shakes his head and then he goes on the offensive. He hits a clothesline in the corner, then he drops the leg for the win. Winner: Hulk Hogan

The Brain attacks Hogan from behind after the match, which predictably doesn't work. Hogan gives chase, and Heenan makes an impressive leap over the top rope to escape. The match was, expectedly, boring. The crowd got to see a more aggressive Hogan, and he looks strong heading towards Wrestlemaia.


Randy "Macho Man" Savage vs "Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase w/ Virgil

After Savage gets to the ring, DiBiase introduces his secret weapon: Andre the Giant. Andre will be in his corner for the match. Right away, as the bell rings, Macho jumps out of the ring and attacks Virgil, who was getting a little close to Elizabeth. DiBiase uses the distraction to hit Savage from behind. In the ring, the Million Dollar Man is the aggressor, landing several good looking elbows. Macho Man also sells things so well. An elbow from the middle turnbuckle drops Savage to the mat. He attempts to whip Savage to the corner, but Macho reverses it and DiBiase takes the ride, then catches an elbow. Then it's Savage's turn to land an elbow from the ropes. A pin attempt comes up short. DiBiase bails out of the ring to catch his breath. When he comes back in, he gets Savage with a knee to the midsection. After a series of chops, he once again sends Savage to the corner and has it backfire. This time DiBiase tries to follow with a clothesline, but Macho gets up his knee. Savage tries to drop a knee, but he misses this time. DiBiase tries to work on the leg, but Savage kicks him out of the ring. The two brawl outside the ring until Virgil hits Savage from behind, prompting the referee to send him to the back. I have no idea how this isn't a disqualification. After a commercial, DiBiase is in control. He gets a two-count after another elbow from the middle rope. McMahon and Ventura continue to make creepy comments about Elizabeth. There's a long head lock, then Savage fights back with a big clothesline. A back body drop follows that. DiBiase bounces off the rope, but accidentally knocks down the referee. Savage throws the Million Dollar Man to the floor, then nails him with an elbow all the way from the top turnbuckle. Predictably, Andre makes his way over and hits Savage with a headbutt. The referee is out, so he continues to pummel Macho Man. Elizabeth looks concerned and heads to the back. Andre pounds on Savage with chops and headbutts. The referee finally gets up and counts Savage out. Winner: "Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase

With the match over, Virgil comes back down, and Andre tosses Macho back into the ring for the beatdown. DiBiase gets in a few cheap shots, but the crowd goes nuts and here comes Hogan with a chair. The heels clear out quickly, and Hogan and Elizabeth tend to Savage. The match itself was fast-paced and fun. Both wrestlers came out looking good. The ending was a little far-fetched, but made sense to keep either from taking a pin before Mania.


The Islanders w/ Bobby "The Brain" Heenan vs The Killer Bees

Jim Brunzell and Tama start things off. B Brian Blair tags in almost immediately as they double-team their opponent. They get a quick two-count, but not the win. A missed drop kick gives Tama the advantage, though. Haku tags in and goes to work. He gets a near fall. It's the Islanders turn to double-team and they do in the corner. Brunzell and Haku wind up in the ring and double clothesline each other. Haku makes the tag, but Brunzell makes it to his corner as well. Blair is on fire, taking on both Islanders. He rolls up Tama, and it gets ridiculous. The ref starts the count, but Haku attempts to come in. Brunzell comes to prevent it and the referee stops his count and gets up to escort him back to his corner, leaving Haku to do as he pleases. He clotheslines Blair and Tama gets the pin. Winner: The Islanders

This was an ok match being so short. However, the ending was beyond idiotic. The referees look so stupid. This was so egregious that it actually made me angry. Be better bookers.


One Man Gang w/ Slick vs Ken Patera

Gang attacks before Patera even gets his pants off. He then uses the pants to choke Patera. I really don't care about this match. Patera fights back and locks in a bearhug (Ummm, huh?). The Gang rakes the eyes to get loose, but then comes after his opponent with his arms up in the air like a weirdo, and of course, Patera moves, using this time to lock in a full nelson. They go back and forth a few times, but it really doesn't matter. All the moves look fake and stupid. Patera whips Gang to the ropes, but Gang lands the most awkward looking clothesline I've ever seen and gets the pin. Winner: One Man Gang

This was f#$%ing terrible.


Overall Impressions

It wasn't that great of a show, but forwarded some of the storylines heading into Wrestlemania. Savage/DiBiase was the only really good match. Things felt repetitive, with the babyfaces chasing managers and getting hit from behind in seemingly every match. The refereeing was bad too.

Winners: 
Vince McMahon: As much as he talked about Elizabeth early in the show, he must have been thrilled to get to ogle her once she was at ringside.

Losers: 
The profession of refereeing: Incompetence everywhere.
Anybody who watched the whole show: Everybody should have left before the last match, which was one of the worst matches I've ever seen.


Things I Would Have Changed

I would have fired Ken Patera.