WWE Recap: Saturday Night Main Event (October 1985)

We open up with Mean Gene and Nikolai Volkoff discussing Hulk Hogan saying the Soviet flag would not fly. They'll fight for the Heavyweight Title, tonight. After the opening montage, Vince McMahon and Jesse "The Body" Ventura set up the night's festivities.


Nikolai Volkoff w/ Fred Blassie vs Hulk Hogan (Heavyweight Championship)

Volkoff attacked Hogan from behind to start things off, then rips off Hogan's tear-away shirt and chokes him with it. The Hulkster bounces back with a couple of clotheslines, then a boot to the face. He makes the mistake of chasing his adversary outside the ring, though, and gets driven into the ringpost for his trouble. He was brutalized by a number of punches, kicks, and bodyslams, then Volkoff got a near-fall. Unfortunately, Hogan kicked out and went into his Hulking Up routine. He nails a couple of fists, then hits the leg drop for the win. Winner: Hulk Hogan

After the match, Hogan grabbed the Russian flag and shined his shoes with it before slamming it on the ground. The world was such a different place in 1985. I've always found Volkoff to be a pretty boring wrestler. He's slower than most, and mostly just bores me. This match was pretty ugly, with mostly just punching and kicking for moves. The Hulkamaniacs loved it though.





Uncle Elmer vs Gentleman...something jobber something

This consisted of exactly one bodyslam from Elmer. He then covered his opponent for the six second victory. Winner: Uncle Elmer

 There is literally nothing to say about this. Free Natural Light for everybody, I guess.





"The Body Shop" hosted by Jesse Ventura

The guest for this segment is Bobby "The Brain" Heenan. Heenan would go on to replace Ventura, but here, he's just a heel manager talking about Paul Orndorff, who fired Heenan after events at Wrestlemania. Heenan had issued a $25,000 bounty to whoever could injure Mr Wonderful, and on this night, was upping it to $50,000.





Mr Wonderful Paul Orndorff vs Rowdy Roddy Piper

The two combatants immediately being to brawl. If you watched Wrestlemania (or read my recap), then you know why these guys hate each other. A play-by-play is unnecessary, since there are no moves, just two men punching each other in the face. It spills outside and a chair and table get used as weapons before they move back inside. Orndorff actually hits a nice cross body that flips both men over the ropes. From there, it went out of control. The fight spilled down the aisle and into the back. Piper managed to lock himself in a room where Orndorff couldn't get to him. Winner: Double count-out presumably

This one was actually quite fun. Both Piper and Orndorff made did a great job selling that they hated each other. The brawling was well done, and having the double count-out made sense, as they wouldn't have cared about winning anyway.





Uncle Elmer Wedding Ceremony

I'm with "The Body" here. I would rather have some wrestling. A few other wrestlers are in the ring for this. During the vows, someone from the crowd nailed the bride with something thrown. Throwing things into the ring was very common in these early shows. Vince had this line "Elmer seems to be having some trouble getting the ring on her finger. I hope this isn't a sign of things to come later." I like to think he meant that the way I took it, which is hilarious. Roddy Piper ends up interrupting the ceremony, but Hulk Hogan drove him away.

It should be noted that this was an actual wedding. Elmer and Joyce married in the ring and it really was til death do them part. That's pretty cool.


Big John Studd and King Kong Bundy vs Andre the Giant and Tony Atlas

Andre and Bundy start things off, and Andre uses his oppenent's own ring attire against him, choking him with the straps. Atlas tags in, and when Studd gets in loses control by trying to lift Studd onto the ropes. Eventually, Andre gets back into the ring and throws Studd out, but is attacked from behind by Bundy. Studd, meanwhile slams Atlas into the ringpost. The heels double-team Andre in the ring, then the crowd explodes. Hulk Hogan has joined the fray. The match is ruled a disqualification in favor of Andre, and Bundy and Studd flee the ring. He then teases more to come at some point.

Any match with Andre is going to drag somewhat. There wasn't much to it until Hogan entered the ring. It furthered a story, but the action just wasn't very good.


Mene Gene segment with George "The Animal" Steele

This was silly, and had Gene at a zoo, looking for a supposedly disoriented Steele. He apparently got electroshock therapy that didn't work. The two then wondered around the zoo looking at animals, usually leading to quips from Gene. An example: when talking about a tiger, Gene says "Say George, what kind of tiger is that?" George responds "Detroit." Another: Gene talks about the lemur, saying they look like half monkey and half weasel. The Animal says "Heenan." Hilarious. It was dumb, but more entertaining than a few of the matches.





Leaping Lanny Poffo and Tony Garea vs Greg "The Hammer" Valentine and Brutus Beefcake (Tag Team Championship)

When last we left things, Volkoff and the Iron Sheik were champs. At other events, US Express won the belts back, then lost them to this team, calling itself "The Dream Team" by nefarious means. Valentine and Poffo are first up, with The Hammer going on the offensive. US Express is shown at ringside, Windham looking pirate-like with the eyepatch. Poffo got in a nice spot where he backflipped off the top rope onto Beefcake, but the ensuing pin was broken up. The heels quickly took control back. The match ends when Valentine locks in the Figure Four on Garea. Winners: Greg "The Hammer" Valentine and Brutus Beefcake
 

This was a throw-away. The title was clearly not changing hands. Bring back George "The Animal" Steele!


The show closed with the wedding reception for Elmer and Joyce. Lanny Poffo read a poem, and a toast was given by Willie Robertson, errr, Hillbilly Jim. Jesse Ventura also read a poem, which insulted the occasion, and was tossed into the cake for his trouble. That was the end of things, thank goodness.


Overall Impression

There was a lot of stuff crammed into this, but not a lot of good stuff. The Orndorff/Piper brawl was the only real quality action. The segment with Gene and The Animal was pretty funny, I guess. It was definitely an overall lackluster episode that didn't even really further much of interest. It set up a Hogan/Andre vs Bundy/Studd match, but yuck.

Winners:
Uncle Elmer: He got a squash victory, and his wedding was real. He stayed married to her until he passed away. Love always wins.

Losers: 
The Viewers: This was a pretty lackluster card, with too many non-wrestling segments.
The WWF's chance to ease relations between the USA and Soviet Union: Hulkamania ran wild all over the Soviet flag and may have single-handedly caused to Cold War to last an extra three years. 




Things I Would Have Done Differently

I would have had better wrestlers, and less Uncle Elmer. Again, it would have been nice to have fewer jobbers, especially in the main event. We're getting close to the Macho Man, so that's something.