My thoughts on sports and life

Gladys Knight opens things up singing America the Beautiful. That leads us directly into the opening match. Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse "The Body" Ventura are our announcers. A battle royal is on tap to start the show. Twenty-Man Battle Royal As always, there's no real way to cover this thing. It's a mass of humanity, and it's hard to see anything, but it only takes about 30 seconds for Sam Houston to go flying over the top, eliminated by Danny Davis. Eliminated: Sam Houston Five seconds later, another one bites the dust. Eliminated: Sika George "The Animal" Steele is outside the ring, on the floor, randomly pulling on legs. I guess that's one strategy. Both Killer Bees are nearly eliminated, but manage to stay in. Danny Davis hangs on as well. Steele antagonizes Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart, then grabs him and pulls him out when he leans down. Eliminated: Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart Ramon Rougeau and both Killer Bees somehow ...

We open with the usual introductions from the wrestlers participating in the show. Hulk Hogan tells the camera that "He will never bow. He will never break." I'm guessing that's where Breaking Benjamin got the idea for the song. Ok. Maybe not. Anyway..... Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake vs Greg "The Hammer" Valentine w/ Jimmy Hart These two are former tag team partners, and they did mention that in the pre-match interviews, which was good story-telling. Beefcake's ring attire leaves little to the imagination, and Jesse Ventura asks Vince McMahon if that excites him. Vince responds that Elizabeth excites him. Wild. As the action starts, they have a little back and forth. Brutus hits a high knee that takes The Hammer off his feet. A boot to the face follows, and Beefcake struts like Ric Flair. A pair of atomic drops are hilariously sold by Valentine. The referee steps in between the two as they grapple in the corner, and Valentine takes the op...

This special "The Main Event" episode comes from Indianapolis, and features some solid championship matchups for the network audience. Vince McMahon and Jesse "The Body" Ventura greet us, and the audience seems pretty fired up. There were a number of dark matches before the three that were broadcast. Randy "Macho Man" Savage w/ Elizabeth vs The Honky Tonk Man w/ Jimmy Hart and Peggy Sue (Intercontinental Championship) Honky Tonk Man dances in the ring before the match, but looks concerned as The Macho Man's music hits. On a related note, Savage's music remains one of the greatest intros of all-time. Anyway, HTM gets chased from the ring by Savage, and they circle the ring briefly, until Macho finally catches him and goes on the attack. Back in the ring, Savage hits a couple of elbows and uses the rope to clothesline Honky Tonk Man. Savage goes outside and gives Jimmy Hart a warning, but as Savage climbs back into the ring, Hart grabs his ankl...

The first ever Royal Rumble comes to us from Ontario, Canada. Vince McMahon and Jesse "The Body" Ventura are our hosts. The action gets going right away. Ravishing Rick Rude vs Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat   The crowd loves them some Ricky Steamboat. They trade blows at the start, then Rude throws Steamboat over the ropes, but The Dragon catches the rope and pulls himself back in. Rude then makes the trip out of the ring. After a bit of preening by Rude, they lock up in a test of strength. Rude gets Steamboat on his knees, but pushes back up, then reverses into a takedown and arm-lock. He continues to work on that arm for several minutes. Rude finally breaks free and now he's pounding Steamboat with multiple fists. After some trips to the ropes, The Dragon gets Rude back into the arm-lock. Rude elbows Steamboat to the face, and eventually, knees him in the mid-section, and send him to the floor. He follows The Dragon and bodyslams him, then climbs back in ...

The 2018 NFL season is underway, and it began in crazy fashion, with rookies playing like veterans, veteran playing like...guys who only play Madden football. We had close games, blowouts, and everything in between, and though the play was often sloppy and hard to watch, we loved every single minute of it because football is back. This week: TJ Watt is unblockable, Tyreek Hill is uncatchable, and Aaron Rodgers is unbreakable. Here we go. 32. Buffalo Bills: The Bills played so poorly, Tyler Boyd traveled back in time to tell his younger self to not even bother. 31. Arizona Cardinals: Larry Fitzgerald's last play as a pro is inevitably going to be him going in motion, and then clothes-lining Sam Bradford as he goes by. 30. Oakland Raiders: *Insert Khalil Mack joke here* 29. New York Giants: Upon further review, Saquon Barkley thinks the Giants should have taken a quarterback with the 2nd pick. 28. Detroit Lions: Matthew Stafford had the worst Monday night since that one ti...

Vince McMahon and Jesse "The Body" Ventura welcome us to Washington DC for this episode of Saturday Night Main Event. Ventura looks like he just came from bed, wearing just a tank-top, instead of his usual flamboyant clothing. We get a quick interview with Hulk Hogan, who is more oily than usual. It makes my eyes water, like looking at a desert mirage. Yikes. The Bolsheviks w/ Slick vs Strike Force (Tag Team Championship) This is yet another two-out-of-three falls match. I don't know how the Bolsheviks were considered the top contenders for the belts, since they lose every match, but ok. Strike Force gets a nice pop upon entering. Tito Santana and Boris Zhukov start the match. Things start fast, with Zhukov hitting a shoulder block, then Santana bodyslamming the Russian. A couple of arm drags follow. Strike Force tags in and out quickly, with each man doing basically one move, mostly concentrating on Zhukov's arm. Nikolai Volkoff finally tags in and gains the ad...

This episode came after Survivor Series, but was actually taped before, so keep that in mind. Seattle is playing host, and Vince McMahon and Jesse "The Body" Ventura welcome us aboard. They set up the show and preview the matches. George "The Animal" Steele vs Dangerous Danny Davis w/ Jimmy Hart Steele isn't waiting for any bells, and immediately grabs Davis and bites him in the corner. Davis flees the ring. Davis tries to sneak back in and hit The Animal from behind, but his punches have no effect. Steele punches back and Davis is sent through the ropes, to the floor. Once again, he tries a sneak attack, and once again, Steele catches him. They both go to the floor and Steele tries to bring a chair in the ring. The ref stops him, and when The Animal comes in sans chair, Davis uses something from out of his tights to hit Steele. Then he repeatedly uses the object to choke Steele, though it was small and wouldn't be a very effective choker. Now he's...

The first edition of Survivor Series comes to us live from just outside of Cleveland, Ohio. Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse "The Body" Ventura are our announcers. The show will feature just four matches, but each will be battle between 5-man teams (One will feature five tag teams, and thus 10-man teams). I've never been a big fan of these shows, but they had them anyway. Honky Tonk Man, Hercules, Ron Bass, Harley Race, Danny Davis vs Randy "Macho Man" Savage, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake, Ricky "The Dragon" Steaboat, Jake "The Snake" Roberts Beefcake and Hercules will open the match up in the ring. They trade low-impact offensive moves, but Beefcake puts on a sleeper hold pretty quickly. Hercules manages to get to his team, but Ron Bass and Danny Davis both come in. Both catch hip tosses. The referee determines that Davis is the legal man. He's bodyslammed by Beefcake, who then tags in Jake Roberts. Roberts p...