WWE Recap: Saturday Night Main Event (January 1988)

Vince McMahon and Jesse "The Body" Ventura welcome us to Washington DC for this episode of Saturday Night Main Event. Ventura looks like he just came from bed, wearing just a tank-top, instead of his usual flamboyant clothing. We get a quick interview with Hulk Hogan, who is more oily than usual. It makes my eyes water, like looking at a desert mirage. Yikes.


The Bolsheviks w/ Slick vs Strike Force (Tag Team Championship)

This is yet another two-out-of-three falls match. I don't know how the Bolsheviks were considered the top contenders for the belts, since they lose every match, but ok. Strike Force gets a nice pop upon entering. Tito Santana and Boris Zhukov start the match. Things start fast, with Zhukov hitting a shoulder block, then Santana bodyslamming the Russian. A couple of arm drags follow. Strike Force tags in and out quickly, with each man doing basically one move, mostly concentrating on Zhukov's arm. Nikolai Volkoff finally tags in and gains the advantage after kicking out of a couple of near falls. For some reason, he tags Zhukov back in, and he immediately starts getting beat down. Santana nearly gets a pin, but Volkoff breaks it up, and all four men come into the ring. In the confusion, Volkoff clotheslines Santana, and gets a two count. Zhukov hits a side suplex, and also gets a two count. Then he misses an elbow drop, allowing Santana to make the hot tag to Rick Martel. Martel nails Zhukov, then locks in the Boston Crab for the submission. Strike Force takes fall number one.

Round two opens with a double dropkick on Zhukov, and Martel going for the Boston Crab again. This time, Volkoff makes the save. All four men are in the ring, yet the ref singles Santana out, and turns his back on the two-on-one going on behind him. This never happens in WCW/NWA by the way. It just looks like incompetence. A gutwrench suplex nearly gets a pin for Volkoff, but Martel kicks out. Now the heels tag in and out, taking turns on Martel. Volkoff plants a knee into Martel's chest, but just gets two again. A collision knocks both men to the mat. Volkoff tags Zhukov, and Martel just manages to get to Santana. Tito hits a dropkick, then Volkoff comes back in. All four men are in again, and again the ref singles out the "good guy" allowing a heel double-team. Volkoff gets Slick's cane and attempts to hit Santana, but misses and hits his teammate instead. Santana gets the easy pin from there. Winners: Strike Force

This was pretty boring, and the referee stuff really annoys me. WCW, even at that time, didn't resort to such obvious nonsense. Referees got bumped, or distracted in more organic ways that made sense. WWF just got lazy with it. It hurts the overall story.


Sika w/ Mr Fuji vs Jake "The Snake" Roberts

Roberts opens with a couple of quick arm drags, then an armlock. Sika tries to punch The Snake, but misses twice. Roberts tries to whip Sika to the corner, but to no avail. Instead, goes into a corner and takes a back drop. Fuji hits Roberts with his cane when the ref isn't looking. Then Sika locks on a "nerve hold" which always looks dumb. The referee starts to check on Roberts, but Sika lifts him up and tosses him to the ropes, only to take a knee to the face. Roberts goes to the ropes, but Fuji gets involved again, this time grabbing The Snake's ankle. Sika tosses Roberts into the corner and comes to splash him, but Roberts moves. Sika slams into the corner, then falls back onto the canvas, and Jake makes the pin. Winner: Jake "The Snake" Roberts

This could have been better, but Sika got in very little offense, most of which was the ridiculous nerve hold. Fuji's interference had literally no impact, and we didn't even get a DDT. Well, until after the match, on Mr Fuji.


King Kong Bundy w/ Andre the Giant vs Hulk Hogan (World Heavyweight Championship)

Andre is in Bundy's corner instead of Bobby "The Brain" Heenan for supposed medical reasons. Bundy and Hogan lock up after the bell and Hogan shoves Bundy. Bundy tries to charge Hogan, but misses, and Hogan slams him into the turnbuckle and begins to chop at his chest. Hogan then delivers a boot that knocks Bundy out of the ring. Back inside, Hogan delivers a clothesline that takes Bundy off his feet. Bundy gains control after using Hogan's hair to take him to the mat. The Hulkster tries to fight back, but gets knocked to the ground again. Bundy works on the Champ's arm. After an extended armlock, Hogan punches out of it, then bodyslams the big man. He misses an elbow drop, though, allowing Bundy to land some punches. Now he bodyslams Hogan, but also misses an elbow drop. Hogan clotheslines Bundy in the corner, but tries to whip him to the other corner, and has it reversed. The referee gets caught in the way, and when Bundy avalanches Hogan in the corner, the ref gets slammed between them, and is out. Another referee comes down as Bundy is knocked from the ring. Once he's back inside, he rakes Hogan's eyes, and pummels him in the corner. A clothesline follows. He drops a knee and goes for the pin, but gets just two. Bundy stands on Hogan's chest, which has to hurt. A chinlock follows, and Andre is telling the ref that Hogan gave up. The ref says no. Bundy hits another avalanche in the corner, but doesn't go for the pin. Instead, he hits another avalanche, then splashes a prone Hogan on the mat. He finally goes for the pin, but Hogan kicks out, and starts to Hulk up. It's a shortened version, as Bundy tries to toss him to a corner, but Hogan isn't going. Instead Bundy does, and then falls to the floor. Hogan drops the leg, and then gets the three count. Winner: Hulk Hogan
 
After the match, Hogan challenges Andre, but the Giant walks away, only to return when Hogan is celebrating. He attacks from behind, and then chokes Hogan into unconsciousness. The British Bulldogs come to the champ's aid, but Andre bashes their heads together and tosses them from the ring. Strike Force, Jake Roberts, and Junkyard Dog come down. Jim Duggan enters and hits Andre with the 2x4, but it has no effect. Andre goes after Duggan, and the others pull Hogan from the ring. They carry him, still out, down the aisle.

Well, this was the best match of the show so far, which is kinda sad. Hogan pleases the crowd by doing the impossible, and kicking out after being crushed by Bundy three times. There wasn't much wrestling, but at least there was a story. Ventura got to complain about Hogan supposedly giving up, and apparently a pin that consisted of Bundy's foot touching Hogan's after the second avalanche. The biggest story was the post-match stuff. Andre looked like a crazed monster, setting the stage for another showdown. It was well-done overall.


Koko B Ware vs Greg "The Hammer" Valentine w/ Jimmy Hart

A short history lesson: Greg Valentine was teaming with Dino Bravo, but behind the scenes, he didn't like it. After being assigned a storyline where he kidnaps the British Bulldogs' mascot, Matilda, he quit the company. They quickly brought him back, as a singles wrestler, under Jimmy Hart (Hart...Valentine..get it?). Koko hits a nice shoulder block to start, but then gets dropped on his neck onto the ropes. Valentine drops a couple of elbows onto Koko's head, dropping him to the mat. He tries for the Figure Four, but it's a no-go at this point. Valentine remains in control, though, and drops an elbow after several kicks in the corner. He only gets a two count, however. Koko gets tossed out of the ring, and when he comes back in, he eats a clothesline. Now, the crowd begins to cheer, and Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake is coming to ringside with his scissors. Koko takes advantage of the distraction and rolls up Valentine, but only gets two. The referee orders Beefcake to the back. After a commercial, Valentine is back in control, whipping Koko into the corner, and then hitting a back drop. The Hammer tries some ridiculous move that involved him coming down on Koko's legs, so it's no surprise that Valentine is the one who winds up hurt. For some reason, Valentine follows up by climbing to the top rope, where he gets slammed by Koko. The Birdman drops a fist from the ropes, but only gets a two count. He puts Valentine in a headlock, but The Hammer gets out and drops Koko to the mat. Then he puts on the Figure Four, which will do it. Winner: Greg "The Hammer" Valentine

Afterwards, Valentine puts Koko back into the Figure Four, and Beefcake comes down again, and chases Valentine from the ring. Hart gets stuck inside, with Koko holding his leg, and Beefcake returns and cuts some of Hart's hair.  I don't get this one. Valentine winning is fine, but Koko got in almost no offense, Beefcake coming down during the match was a waste of time, and Jimmy Hart was obnoxious. The crowd did get a kick out of the Hart haircut at the end, so at least they went home happy.


Overall Impressions

This was a show where the matches were definitely secondary to the non-match action. The Andre beatdown of Hogan was the highlight of the show, by a long shot. Everything else was pretty ugly.

Winners

Andre the Giant: He came out looking as strong as ever as a heel.

Losers

Boris Zhukov: Vince McMahon made fun of his head for most of his match. He should have known right then that he was never going anywhere with the WWF.
Duggan's 2x4: Hacksaw hit it on the ring apron and it broke in half. Didn't seem to be a very tough piece of wood.


Things I Would Have Changed

The referees suck, and I don't know why writers don't realize how bad they look.
Three of the four matches were just elongated squash matches. The Bolsheviks, Sika, and Koko B Ware were all defeated way too easily.