WWE Recaps: Royal Rumble (1988)

The first ever Royal Rumble comes to us from Ontario, Canada. Vince McMahon and Jesse "The Body" Ventura are our hosts. The action gets going right away.


Ravishing Rick Rude vs Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat

 The crowd loves them some Ricky Steamboat. They trade blows at the start, then Rude throws Steamboat over the ropes, but The Dragon catches the rope and pulls himself back in. Rude then makes the trip out of the ring. After a bit of preening by Rude, they lock up in a test of strength. Rude gets Steamboat on his knees, but pushes back up, then reverses into a takedown and arm-lock. He continues to work on that arm for several minutes. Rude finally breaks free and now he's pounding Steamboat with multiple fists. After some trips to the ropes, The Dragon gets Rude back into the arm-lock. Rude elbows Steamboat to the face, and eventually, knees him in the mid-section, and send him to the floor. He follows The Dragon and bodyslams him, then climbs back in the ring. Steamboat beats the ten count, but is suplexed into the ring. Rude gets a two-count, then locks in a sort-of Camel Clutch. In a funny moment, McMahon rails about how Rude has his fingers covering Steamboat's mouth and nose, and that it's illegal. Ventura deadpans "You can see that from back here?" Vince responds, "Well, it looked like it." Lol. Anyway, Steamboat fights out of the kinda clutch by raising Rude up on his shoulders and dropping him down. It looks impressive, but you gotta wonder why Rude just stands there and lets him do it. Steamboat tries to follow up with a splash, but Rude gets his knees up. Rude gets another two-count, then locks him back into the clutch, but Steamboat quickly kicks out, sending Rude into the turnbuckle. Now Steamboat gets a near-fall. We get a fun series with various pin attempts, all of which are kicked out of, and the crowd wakes up a little. Steamboat suplexes Rude and climbs to the top rope, but Rude pulls the referee in front of him, and The Dragon comes crashing down on the wrong person. Rude picks Steamboat up in a submission move, and the referee calls for the bell. Rude poses and leaves the ring, but the ref actually disqualified Rude. Winner: Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat via disqualification

It was mostly a boring match, until the very end. The crowd was silent for long periods of time. Both men are good workers, but they mostly just threw punches, and had a couple of long holds, with almost no actual wrestling moves.


Dino Bravo Benchpress

Next up, Dino Bravo attempts to break the world's benchpress record. He's supposedly going to attempt 715 lbs. When he tries it, he clearly isn't able to do it, and Ventura has to pull it up for him, but Mean Gene and the participants all act like he did it. This was silly, and a waste of time.


 Jumping Bomb Angels vs The Glamour Girls w/ Jimmy Hart (Women's Tag Team Championship)

This is a two-out-of-three falls match. Sigh. The Angels start off by dropkicking the Glamour Girls, but Leilani Kai takes control pretty quickly anyway. Judy Martin tags in and is the victim of some slick moves by whichever Angel is in the ring. I'm sorry, I don't know which is which. Leilani tags back in, and is nailed by some fast-paced moves as well. All four ladies wind up in the ring, and the Angels put both opponents in Figure Fours. After some really bad action, Judy Martin gets the first pin.

Round two goes quickly. All four women are in the ring, and the Glamour Girls accidentally take each other out. The pinning maneuver is botched, but the Jumping Bomb Angels take round two.

The third round was equally hard to watch, but the Angels hit a double-off the top rope-dropkick that was pretty impressive for the pin and we have new champions. Winners: Jumping Bomb Angels

 The Angels are a fun tag team, with some high-flying moves, but it was clear that Kai and Martin weren't good at working with them. There were tons of awkward spots, and it ruined the whole thing. Still, it was cool to see the Angels win the belts.


World Championship Match Contract Signing

Next we get a recap of the whole Hulk Hogan/Andre the Giant/Ted DiBiase saga. Then Andre and Hogan are in the ring to sign the contract for a Wrestlemania III rematch. Hogan signs, and Andre eventually does too. Then he slams Hogan's head into the table and flips it over on him before leaving the ring.


Royal Rumble Match

This is going to be hard to recap, so I'll try to hit the highlights and the eliminations. Our first two participants are Bret Hart and Tito Santana. The two men go back and forth a little, mostly with just punches until the clock winds down and our #3 entrant is Butch Reed. Reed immediately goes after Santana. He tries for an elimination, but it doesn't work, and Santana slams his two opponents' heads together. The two heels finally gain the advantage, and the #4 entrant comes down and it's Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart. Now it's three-on-one, and Santana is in trouble. All three struggle to get Santana over the top, and now Jake "The Snake" Roberts runs down the aisle as entrant #5. He comes in from behind the pile of guys at the rope and immediately grabs Butch Reed by the leg and flips him out of the ring. Eliminated: Butch Reed

Roberts and Santana take control and have both heels down. Jake goes for a DDT, but Neidhart breaks free, and clotheslines The Snake. Bret piledrives Santana, and then Harley Race enters at the #6 contestant. He goes after Jake Roberts and nearly gets him over the ropes, but not quite. Here comes Jumpin' Jim Brunzell. He's contestant #7. He almost eliminates Bret Hart right away, but The Anvil makes the save. Things are getting crowded now. The #8 entrant is Sam Houston. The Hart Foundation members manage to gang up on Tito Santana, and toss him over the ropes. Eliminated: Tito Santana

The heel contestants have the advantages all over the ring now, and the #9 man is Danny Davis. Sam Houston comes right over and they go at it. Roberts is pounding on Harley Race, then it's his turn to work on Davis. Boris Zhukov is the #10 entrant. He goes after Sam Houston, and nearly eliminates him. The babyface contingent is not faring well. Bret Hart and Davis double team Houston on one half of the ring. It's time for the #11 entrant, but both Don Muraco and Nikolai Volkoff come to the ring. Muraco punches Volkoff and gets into the ring, while the refs send Volkoff to the back. Meanwhile, Jake Roberts and Jim Brunzell double-team Zhukov at the ropes and finally push him over the top. Eliminated: Boris Zhukov

Volkoff continues to argue at ringside, while various battles take place in the ring. Muraco tries to eliminate Neidhart, but it's not working. Sam Houston is working on Danny Davis. The clock counts down and now Volkoff is allowed to enter the ring as contestant #12. He attacks Sam Houston, and we barely catch Harley Race being eliminated by Muraco. Eliminated: Harley Race

Jake Roberts and Jim Brunzell are both nearly eliminated, but are able to stay in. Hacksaw Jim Duggan is entrant #13, and on his way to the ring. He meets Race halfway down the aisle, and Race hits him, then runs. Duggan and Don Muraco work on The Anvil. Ron Bass is #14. Jake Roberts gets Danny Davis up, but he's saved. On the other side of the ring, Nikolai Volkoff manages to lift Jim Brunzell up and chuck him out. Eliminated: Jumpin' Jim Brunzell

Ron Bass almost follows that up by eliminating Don Muraco, but not quite. B Brian Blair is contestant #15. He gets Neidhart on the ropes, but Bret makes the save. Jake Roberts and Jim Duggan are double-teaming Danny Davis. Bass gives him an assist. The clock counts down, and Hillbilly Jim is #16. He and The Anvil go at it in the middle of the ring. Neidhart rushes at the newcomer, and Jim tosses him over his back and out. Eliminated: Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart

Jim goes to work on Danny Davis next. Dino Bravo comes out as entrant #17. He's immediately accosted by Hillbilly Jim. On the opposite side of the ring, Ron Bass has Sam Houston on his shoulders, and drops him backwards out of the ring. Eliminated: Sam Houston

Jake Roberts is trying to get Bret Hart out, but has poor position. Jim comes over to help, but is useless. Muraco and Bravo are going at it in the corner, in a battle of two jacked up dudes. The Snake is in trouble in one corner, and here comes Ultimate Warrior to a huge pop as entrant #18. He goes at Ron Bass, but on the other side of the ring, Bret Hart, who was the first person in the ring, is finally taken out by Don Muraco. Eliminated: Bret Hart

B Brian Blair and Jake Roberts double-team Danny Davis in the corner, while One Man Gang comes down as entrant #19. He immediately tosses Blair out. Eliminated: B Brian Blair

One Man Gang then walks casually across the ring, brushing off Hillbilly Jim, and grabs Jake Roberts, easily taking him out as well. Eliminated: Jake "The Snake" Roberts

The Warrior is the latest man to have Danny Davis in a compromising position. He doesn't eliminate him, though. The final contestant enters the ring, and it's Junkyard Dog. Hillbilly Jim is attacking One Man Gang on the ropes, but Nikolai Volkoff is tossed by Jim Duggan in the meantime. Eliminated: Nikolai Volkoff

Right after that, One Man Gang makes yet another elimination, taking out Hillbilly Jim. Eliminated: Hillbilly Jim

Jim Duggan is working on Davis in the corner. The Warrior is going after One Man Gang. JYD and Ron Bass are in another corner. Don Muraco is just standing there. Finally, Duggan goes into the three-point stance and charges, taking Davis over the top. Eliminated: Danny Davis

One Man Gang and Dino Bravo double-team the Warrior, and dump him over the top, like an afterthought. Eliminated: Ultimate Warrior

JYD now goes after One Man Gang, who takes a shortcut to gain an advantage. Ron Bass capitalizes and tosses JYD. Eliminated: Junkyard Dog

We're down to five men in the ring, and very quickly, that number dwindles to four, as Don Muraco takes out Ron Bass. Eliminated: Ron Bass

One Man Gang and Muraco pair off, and Jim Duggan and Dino Bravo are the other pair. Bravo tosses Duggan to a corner, and Gang hits him with a splash. Muraco hits Gang with a dropkick that almost takes him out, but Bravo is able to jump on Muraco. He then holds Muraco up and One Man Gang clotheslines him out. Eliminated: Don Muraco

Bravo and Gang go for the double-team on Jim Duggan now. He fights both of them, they are able to gain control. They hit a double clothesline, and Bravo holds him up to be taken out the same way Muraco was. However, Duggan moves, and Gang take Bravo out instead. Eliminated: Dino Bravo

That leaves One Man Gang and Jim Duggan. Now Duggan starts to pound on Gang. He tosses Gang to the ropes, but gets nailed by a big forearm. Gang sets up to charge Duggan, but Hacksaw pulls down the rope and the big man eliminates himself. Winner: Hacksaw Jim Duggan

The very first Rumble match was solid. Obviously, they didn't know how popular these would become, and didn't have all their biggest stars involved. There were some odd choices, but Duggan winning wasn't as strange as it sounds now. He was pretty over at the time, and there was no guaranteed title shot at the time, which I prefer.


The Islanders vs The Young Stallions

I have no idea why this match is closing the show, but ok. Jim Powers gets control early with a couple of punches to the face of Tama. The announcers aren't even talking about the match, which should tell them something. The Stallions get in a some double-team work, then Haku comes in and they work on him too. Paul Roma gets in and hits an ugly-looking cross body. Eventually Powers comes back in and the Islanders go on the offensive. It's their turn to double-team their opponent. Haku and Power double clothesline each other, then Tama tags in. Powers makes it to his corner too, though, and Roma is back in as well. He hits a clothesline, and then a dropkick. He gets a near-fall, but then he goes flying out of the ring when Haku pulls down the top rope just as the referee, for no reason, turns around to talk to Powers. The WWF is so bad at this referee stuff. Anyway, Roma has hurt is knee and is counted out.

Oh, did I forget this is two out of three falls? My bad. They replay Roma going over the top rope, and the referee is staring right at him until the moment he starts to go over the rope, and then he suddenly turns around. It is glaringly bad. Round two starts, and Tama goes after Roma's knee right away. Tama bodyslams him, and goes for the splash, but Roma gets his knees up. He makes it to his partner, and Powers is in. He comes in hot, and takes control. He gets several near-falls, but can't get the three-count. Haku finally strikes back, and he and Tama hit a double headbutt. After a while, Haku tries some kind of flipping splash, but misses. Powers is too hurt to capitalize, however. He tags in Roma, but Haku attacks his knee and he's down. Tama leaps from the top rope onto the knee, then Haku puts him in a half-crab and Roma submits. Winners: The Islanders

This really served no purpose at all, and didn't need to be two-of-three falls. Nothing changed by adding the extra fall. The Stallions aren't very good, and the whole thing was boring and annoying.


Overall Impressions:

The Rumble match was fun, as these things usually are. The rest of the show was pretty lackluster. Rude and Steamboat should have been terrific, but just wasn't. Nobody really cared about the rest.

Winners: 
Hacksaw Jim Duggan winning the very first Royal Rumble is a very cool honor.
The Jumping Bomb Angels certainly deserved the big moment they got here.

Losers:
The Ultimate Warrior will, of course, be a big star, but he wasn't helped here, having literally done nothing.
The Young Stallions looked amazingly weak after their match.


Things I Would Have Changed

It's difficult to second guess matches like the Rumble, but as I said, Ultimate Warrior should have at least had an elimination or two. They should have added another championship match to this instead of the pointless last tag team match.