101 Reasons I Love My Wife
101. She randomly brings home fresh doughnuts in the mornings.
100. She is working her ass off to finish school and have a career.
99. She actually wants to buy me a nice car, just to rub it in certain people's face.
98. She refuses to watch movies I want her to watch, but then enjoys them when she finally gives in.
97. I'm fairly sure she could kick my ass.
96. She bought me tickets to see Seether in concert as a surprise.
95. She'd defend our daughter with the ferocity of a rabid monkey if threatened.
94. She loses her keys EVERY SINGLE DAY.
93. She tells me Seinfeld is stupid, but laughs at it anyway.
92. I love hearing her yell at customer service representatives for companies who have screwed something up.
91. The last time we watched a horror movie at the theater, every night I came home to, literally, every light in the house being on.
90. On our first date, we sat in the car and listened to a high school football game on the radio and laughed like we'd known each other for years.
89. When she tries to send an angry text message to me, but misspells something hilariously.
88. She once completely surprised me when we were dating by telling me she wasn't coming, then, sure enough, showed up at my door.
87. She gets onto me about cleaning my computer desk, while her desk looks like Hiroshima, circa 1945.
86. She's played cards with my family...more than once.
85. She vigorously defends her position on a subject, even when I get on her about it.
84. She has seen every episode of Roseanne several thousand times, but will sit and watch it all day if it's on.
83. She asks hysterical questions about football when I watch it.
82. She doesn't punch me in the face for pausing Survivor 40 times to say what I would do if it were me.
81. Her bizarre hate of magicians is inexplicable, but cute.
80. She'll finish her degree, and be able to carry a tazer, but won't even be tempted to use it on me....I think.
79. She can't spell, but wants me to play scrabble with her.
78. She's smarter than she gives herself credit for.
77. She laughs at dirty jokes as easily as I do.
76. She played fantasy football the past 2 years, and won the league one of them.
75. She beat me in the family March Madness pool 3 straight years.
74. She makes some damn good chili.
73. She handled meat, even when pregnant. (get your mind out of the gutter, it's an inside joke..about hamburger meat)
72. She has the nicest handwriting I've ever seen.
71. Her use of the pouty lip is second to none.
70. She allows me to be a comic book geek.
69. She humors me when I give long drawn-out explanations for stories.
68. She drives beyond the speed of sound at all times, yet somehow I get ticketed for a seatbelt twice in a week.
67. She put up with me acting like a moron when I drink a little too much.
66. She has an odd love of ink pens.
65. If she thinks you're wrong...she will tell you.
64. She gets upset if I don't get my heartburn medicine.
63. She cries if a news story comes on about an injured animal, but doesn't when a story about people follows.
62. She insists on putting up the Christmas tree before Thanksgiving even passes every year.
61. She's a text message machine.
60. She buys me horror movies, then tells me I'm not allowed to watch them in the house while she's there.
59. She insists that she doesn't snore, but my ears say otherwise.
58. Her knees do this weird bendy thing, where they actually bend backwards, and it freaks me out.
57. She doesn't like American Idol and make me watch it with her.
56. We've had entire conversations in text message form, while we're sitting in the same room.
55. We have 15 minute discussions just to figure out what type of fast food we're getting.
54. She keeps adding shows to our DVR to watch, even though there's no chance she'll have the time to watch them.
53. She's put up with me for 7 years, so that's something.
52. She listens to me tell the same stories over and over and over and over.
51. We used to play rock, paper, scissors to determine who had to change diapers.
50. She always says something good about my writings.
49. She doesn't like flowers, but cries if I bring her some.
48. When I work at 5AM, she leaves me little messages on Facebook to tell me she loves me.
47. She genuinely cares about me more than I do about myself.
46. She spent days searching for a particular shirt, and gave up, til I found it...right behind her computer chair in her office.
45. If I sit beside her on the couch, and casually lean forward, I can get a back rub.
44. I've discovered that, if she were a cop, she would issue 3000 tickets per day and the national debt would be solved.
43. Her insistence on putting onions everywhere.
42. She allowed me to actually use a song I wrote at our wedding.
41. She laughs at some of the same silly things I do.
40. She let me name one of our cats Batman.
39. She bought me a bunch of books about writing to be supportive of me.
38. She lets me keep my Stephen King collection on display in the living room.
37. Listening to her try and speak Spanish.
36. Starts arguments over Mythbusters just to give me a hard time.
35. Has always been there for friends, even when they're not there for her.
34. She has the greatest accent of all time.
33. She has an obsession for planners.
32. She can out-curse a sailor.
31. She not only enjoys, but actually wants to spend more time with me.
30. She'll yell, curse, and cry at me, but never ever calls me stupid.
29. She has some of the greatest, weirdest dreams of all time.
28. She can give you a look that will make you wet yourself.
27. She will always stand up for herself.
26. She genuinely thinks I'm funny.
25. She uses all of those planners to keep us on schedule and our bills straight.
24. She is happy to feed my reality TV addiction.
23. She makes some of the weirdest sounds while sleeping I've ever heard.
22. She's thinking of what to get me for Christmas year round, instead of waiting til Christmas Eve like me.
21. She's better at keeping track of when my work clothes need cleaned than I am.
20. She has beads given to her on Spring Break from school.
19. She aggravates me til I get haircuts, clip fingernails, and shave.
18. She waits around to pick up my son so I can see him when I get a chance.
17. She does stubborn things, like press the panic button on our alarm system after I told her that wasn't the way to contact them, bringing the police to our house.
16. She has whole conversations with my while I'm asleep that I don't remember later on.
15. The best part of the day is eating dinner, sitting on the couch, watching TV at night.
14. She knows just how to give me a hard time about my inability to find things right in front of my face.
13. While she was delivering our daughter, she told her doctor he was too mean, cracking me up in the middle of her birth.
12. Even though she complains, she always drives.
11. She randomly wants to reorganize the furniture in our house, which I complain about, but always ends up looking right.
10. She's more beautiful than I ever tell her, and than she thinks she is.
9. She gets aggravated at times, but always puts me and our daughter first in her life.
8. She has eyes that you notice from accross the room.
7. I can and do trust her with my life.
6. She has always been there for me when I needed her the most.
5. If I try to imagine my life without her, I just can't.
4. She's my best friend.
3. She's my soul mate.
2. She's going to cry reading this.
1. She's the most perfect person I could have asked for to enter my life. She means everything to me, even if I don't say it enough. I've never been happier, and I hope we enjoy each other for another 100 years...well, that might be pushing it, but a long time anyway. I love you.
100. She is working her ass off to finish school and have a career.
99. She actually wants to buy me a nice car, just to rub it in certain people's face.
98. She refuses to watch movies I want her to watch, but then enjoys them when she finally gives in.
97. I'm fairly sure she could kick my ass.
96. She bought me tickets to see Seether in concert as a surprise.
95. She'd defend our daughter with the ferocity of a rabid monkey if threatened.
94. She loses her keys EVERY SINGLE DAY.
93. She tells me Seinfeld is stupid, but laughs at it anyway.
92. I love hearing her yell at customer service representatives for companies who have screwed something up.
91. The last time we watched a horror movie at the theater, every night I came home to, literally, every light in the house being on.
90. On our first date, we sat in the car and listened to a high school football game on the radio and laughed like we'd known each other for years.
89. When she tries to send an angry text message to me, but misspells something hilariously.
88. She once completely surprised me when we were dating by telling me she wasn't coming, then, sure enough, showed up at my door.
87. She gets onto me about cleaning my computer desk, while her desk looks like Hiroshima, circa 1945.
86. She's played cards with my family...more than once.
85. She vigorously defends her position on a subject, even when I get on her about it.
84. She has seen every episode of Roseanne several thousand times, but will sit and watch it all day if it's on.
83. She asks hysterical questions about football when I watch it.
82. She doesn't punch me in the face for pausing Survivor 40 times to say what I would do if it were me.
81. Her bizarre hate of magicians is inexplicable, but cute.
80. She'll finish her degree, and be able to carry a tazer, but won't even be tempted to use it on me....I think.
79. She can't spell, but wants me to play scrabble with her.
78. She's smarter than she gives herself credit for.
77. She laughs at dirty jokes as easily as I do.
76. She played fantasy football the past 2 years, and won the league one of them.
75. She beat me in the family March Madness pool 3 straight years.
74. She makes some damn good chili.
73. She handled meat, even when pregnant. (get your mind out of the gutter, it's an inside joke..about hamburger meat)
72. She has the nicest handwriting I've ever seen.
71. Her use of the pouty lip is second to none.
70. She allows me to be a comic book geek.
69. She humors me when I give long drawn-out explanations for stories.
68. She drives beyond the speed of sound at all times, yet somehow I get ticketed for a seatbelt twice in a week.
67. She put up with me acting like a moron when I drink a little too much.
66. She has an odd love of ink pens.
65. If she thinks you're wrong...she will tell you.
64. She gets upset if I don't get my heartburn medicine.
63. She cries if a news story comes on about an injured animal, but doesn't when a story about people follows.
62. She insists on putting up the Christmas tree before Thanksgiving even passes every year.
61. She's a text message machine.
60. She buys me horror movies, then tells me I'm not allowed to watch them in the house while she's there.
59. She insists that she doesn't snore, but my ears say otherwise.
58. Her knees do this weird bendy thing, where they actually bend backwards, and it freaks me out.
57. She doesn't like American Idol and make me watch it with her.
56. We've had entire conversations in text message form, while we're sitting in the same room.
55. We have 15 minute discussions just to figure out what type of fast food we're getting.
54. She keeps adding shows to our DVR to watch, even though there's no chance she'll have the time to watch them.
53. She's put up with me for 7 years, so that's something.
52. She listens to me tell the same stories over and over and over and over.
51. We used to play rock, paper, scissors to determine who had to change diapers.
50. She always says something good about my writings.
49. She doesn't like flowers, but cries if I bring her some.
48. When I work at 5AM, she leaves me little messages on Facebook to tell me she loves me.
47. She genuinely cares about me more than I do about myself.
46. She spent days searching for a particular shirt, and gave up, til I found it...right behind her computer chair in her office.
45. If I sit beside her on the couch, and casually lean forward, I can get a back rub.
44. I've discovered that, if she were a cop, she would issue 3000 tickets per day and the national debt would be solved.
43. Her insistence on putting onions everywhere.
42. She allowed me to actually use a song I wrote at our wedding.
41. She laughs at some of the same silly things I do.
40. She let me name one of our cats Batman.
39. She bought me a bunch of books about writing to be supportive of me.
38. She lets me keep my Stephen King collection on display in the living room.
37. Listening to her try and speak Spanish.
36. Starts arguments over Mythbusters just to give me a hard time.
35. Has always been there for friends, even when they're not there for her.
34. She has the greatest accent of all time.
33. She has an obsession for planners.
32. She can out-curse a sailor.
31. She not only enjoys, but actually wants to spend more time with me.
30. She'll yell, curse, and cry at me, but never ever calls me stupid.
29. She has some of the greatest, weirdest dreams of all time.
28. She can give you a look that will make you wet yourself.
27. She will always stand up for herself.
26. She genuinely thinks I'm funny.
25. She uses all of those planners to keep us on schedule and our bills straight.
24. She is happy to feed my reality TV addiction.
23. She makes some of the weirdest sounds while sleeping I've ever heard.
22. She's thinking of what to get me for Christmas year round, instead of waiting til Christmas Eve like me.
21. She's better at keeping track of when my work clothes need cleaned than I am.
20. She has beads given to her on Spring Break from school.
19. She aggravates me til I get haircuts, clip fingernails, and shave.
18. She waits around to pick up my son so I can see him when I get a chance.
17. She does stubborn things, like press the panic button on our alarm system after I told her that wasn't the way to contact them, bringing the police to our house.
16. She has whole conversations with my while I'm asleep that I don't remember later on.
15. The best part of the day is eating dinner, sitting on the couch, watching TV at night.
14. She knows just how to give me a hard time about my inability to find things right in front of my face.
13. While she was delivering our daughter, she told her doctor he was too mean, cracking me up in the middle of her birth.
12. Even though she complains, she always drives.
11. She randomly wants to reorganize the furniture in our house, which I complain about, but always ends up looking right.
10. She's more beautiful than I ever tell her, and than she thinks she is.
9. She gets aggravated at times, but always puts me and our daughter first in her life.
8. She has eyes that you notice from accross the room.
7. I can and do trust her with my life.
6. She has always been there for me when I needed her the most.
5. If I try to imagine my life without her, I just can't.
4. She's my best friend.
3. She's my soul mate.
2. She's going to cry reading this.
1. She's the most perfect person I could have asked for to enter my life. She means everything to me, even if I don't say it enough. I've never been happier, and I hope we enjoy each other for another 100 years...well, that might be pushing it, but a long time anyway. I love you.
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