My thoughts on sports and life

I spent some time trying to come up with a name for my NFL post-season awards. The Vancies came to mind. Maybe the Meekers. Eventually, I realized that I was a moron. So, welcome to the 1st annual awards that need no name because they're fake awards. Here we go: MVP-Get the easiest out of the way first. I'm a huge Drew Brees fan, but this one is simple. Aaron Rodgers has completed almost 70% of his passes, with 45 TDs and just 6 INTs. His worst game was one where he threw for a TD, ran for another, and had no INTs. He hasn't thrown more than one INT in a game this season. Brees is great, but Rodgers is MVP. Rookies of the Year-Cam Newton (barely) and Von Miller. AJ Green really deserves some praise, and is a close 2nd. Same with Aldon Smith on defense. Patrick Peterson was also fantastic along with Andy Dalton, but Newton is a scoring machine, while Miller is the reason Tim Tebow is "a winner". Defensive Player of the Year-Lots of deserving guys here. Three ...

There's one week to go in the NFL season, which saddens me. There are still a few playoff spots to be decided, so week 17 should have some intrigue. This week-the Colts win again, the Bucs stink again, the Cowboys blow it again, and Drew Brees is your new passing yards record holder. Here we go: Week 16 Power Rankings: 32. Tampa Bay Buccaneers-The offense stinks. The defense stinks. This team has nothing at all to be happy about. 31. St Louis Rams-I have no idea why Stephen Jackson hasn't demanded a trade. What a waste of a great career. 30. Indianapolis Colts-Well, one more win, and they might not have to worry about that whole Manning/Luck controversy. 29. Cleveland Browns-There's nothing dumber than jumping offsides when you know the other teams's only goal is to make you jump offsides. 28. Jacksonville Jaguars-MJD should join up with Stephen Jackson and go on strike. 27. Washington Redskins-Knocked AP and Ponder both out of the game, and still let them put ...

We're down to the final two weeks of the season, and the playoff picture is still pretty much in flux. This week the winless win, the lossless lose, the Giants choke, and the Steelers gag. Here we go: Week 15 Power Rankings: 32. Tampa Bay Buccaneers-They'd be better off playing backups. 31. Indianapolis Colts-Still stink, but at least they're still trying. (I'm still looking at you Tampa Bay) 30. St Louis Rams-They're an injury away from having "Who wants to start for an NFL team?" night at the stadium. 29. Cleveland Browns-The only thing worse than punting to Peterson in overtime (moronic), is leaving Larry Fitzgerald wide open in overtime (epic fail). 28. Minnesota Vikings-The Viking secondary is in critical condition after being bludgeoned, battered, and beaten by Brees. Please send flowers. 27. Jacksonville Jaguars-I think their starting WRs for this game were Larry, his brother Darryl, and his other brother Darryl. (My apologies if you don...

We're in the process of closing out the season, and the good teams are showing it, while the bad teams are, well, really bad. This week the Packers flex, the Cowboys flop, the Jags romp, and the Broncos do it again. Week 14 Power Rankings: 32. Indianapolis Colts-I really don't see how they could possibly win a game at this point. Move over Lions, you've got company. 31. St Louis Rams-Injuries have killed them, but injuries had nothing to do with not getting Stephen Jackson the ball on the goalline. That's pure idiocy. 30. Cleveland Browns-The defense held Pittsburgh to 14 points. Unfortunately for them, if a team can score 10 against the Browns, it's enough. 29. Tampa Bay Buccaneers-How bad is this team you ask? They gave up 41 points to the Jags, a team whose season-high up to that point had been 20 points. THAT'S MORE THAN DOUBLE THEIR PREVIOUS BEST. Raheem Morris, go stand in line with Haley and Sparano. 28. Kansas City Chiefs-Todd Haley goes from loo...

8:00 AM-Wake up feeling a sense of excitement that it's Sunday, but also with a gnawing dread because.......well, it's Sunday. 9:00 AM-Have breakfast, something light in case it comes back up later is preferable. After breakfast, you run to town for last minute provisions for the day, including nachos, beer and aspirin. The guy who checks you out has a 'who dey' tattoo, so you think "this is going to be a good day" 10:00 AM-Open up your first beer, kiss your wife, pet your dog, read to your kids. 11:00 AM-You go into game mode, call your buddy to talk about how you will put it together and win today. You can't lose really. Have another beer. 1:00 PM-Game time. You got the beer and nachos ready. Time to watch your team go to work. 1:15 PM-You ask an empty room "Why did we run the ball there? Is Marvin Lewis dense?" 1:30 PM-Your wife asks why you are screaming at the TV. You look at her like she's from another planet, and have another bee...

Yes, the revolution will be televised. Every year, it seems like we have a lot of unhappy people at the end of the college football season. Yes, some are for normal, "my team is no good" reasons, but most of it is directed at our friends at the BCS, who continue to adhere to an arcane system that doesn't always give us the two most deserving teams, and in some cases, completely leaves an undefeated team without a chance at a championship. I've had enough. So, that said, I'm taking over. Go home BCS. Take a vacation university presidents. Take a long nap NCAA. I got this. Here is my 18 point plan to fix college football. 1. Realignment-The conferences have made a lot of movement lately and in some cases, geographically, it just seems to be frivolous. (I'm looking at you Big East). You can't be the Big East with West coast teams. So, I'll be moving teams around, keeping rivalries where it makes sense, but some teams just have to move. Make new rivalrie...

We put week 13 to bed last night. There were a few good games, and a lot of blowouts. This week the Chargers show up, the Bengals blow up, the Cowboys screw up, and the Lions need to grow up. Here we go. Week 13 Power Rankings: 32. Indianapolis Colts-Orlovsky to Garcon is a great combo in the 4th quarter, down a lot. 31. St Louis Rams-And I was so sure AJ Feely would dominate. 30. Jacksonville Jaguars-Maurice Jones-Drew should sue the Jaguars franchise for wasting his career. 29. Cleveland Browns-Ray Rice ran up their backs, performed a cha-cha on their faces, then ran down the other said. 28. Tampa Bay Buccaneers-Well, if you're going to suck, you might as well suck enough for somebody to break a record on you. 27. Minnesota Vikings-Now they have the notoriety of actually letting Tebow look good on them. 26. Kansas City Chiefs-Good thing they were playing Caleb Hanie. 25. Washington Redskins-Remember that 3-1 start? Yeah, me either. 24. Philadelphia Eagles-The Eagles W...

We are down to the last 5 weeks of the season, with lots of tight races still. This week, Suh gives us the stomp heard 'round the NFL, Brees gives us a performance to remember, Norv Turner gives us another reason he should be fired, and Bowe gives us as minimal effort as possible. Here we go: Week 12 Power Rankings: 32. Indianapolis Colts-Was there any doubt? 31. St Louis Rams-Beanie Wells is still running. 30. Jacksonville Jaguars-Lost again. Fired the HC. Sold the team. 29. Kansas City Chiefs-Don't hurt yourself Dwayne. 28. Cleveland Browns-I was going to toss a congratulations to Greg Little for his first NFL TD, but he'd probably drop it. 27. Tampa Bay Buccaneers-Their attrocious run-D strikes again. 26. Minnesota Vikings-Well, they played well in the second half anyway. 25. Miami Dolphins-They apparently learned nothing from the Denver game as, with the lead late, they went into their prevent offense. 24. San Diego Chargers-Was Norv Turner watching Miami...

We're finished with week 11, and the playoff picture is shaping up..kind of..OK, not really. This week the Lions win in a shootout. The Patriots win in a blowout. The Jets experience a flameout. And the Dolphins continue their breakout. Week 11 Power Rankings: 32. Indianapolis Colts-They've settled in and gotten cozy in the bottom spot. 31. St Louis Rams-The Rams o-line apparently studied the Bears early season game tape. 30. Jacksonville Jaguars-Lost to the Browns. Yikes. 29. Kansas City Chiefs-If history is an indicator, they're about to go on a 4 game winning streak....yeah, maybe not. 28. Arizona Cardinals-John Skelton with some Tebow-esque numbers without, you know, the rushing TDs and the winning. 27. Washington Redskins-Did everything but kick the game-winning FG. 26. Cleveland Browns-Their win was 1 part luck and 1 part jaguar. 25. Minnesota Vikings-Injuries and fumbles and interceptions..oh my. 24. Carolina Panthers-Newton's rushing TDs are impressi...

We got a full slate of games in week 10, and some interesting results. This week-The Dolphins are on a streak, the Bills are on life support, the Ravens are on vacation, and the Pack is on another planet. Here we go: Week 10 Power Rankings: 32. Indianapolis Colts-Death, taxes, and the Colts losing. 31. Cleveland Browns-Another creative way to lose. Brian Billick said it best: "It's bad when your best offensive weapon is a field goal kicker, and you can't even get him the ball." 30. Washington Redskins-Rex Grossman threw 0 TDs and 2 INTs and was deemed the best QB on the roster. That says enough. 29. St Louis Rams-Does a win over Cleveland still count? 28. Kansas City Chiefs-How do you lose to a team whose QB goes 2-8 for 69 yards? 27. Jacksonville Jaguars-Without Maurice Jones-Drew, this team would be racing the Colts to 0-16. 26. Miami Dolphins-Two straight wins..against two awful teams, but still wins. 25. Carolina Panthers-Just a bad game, or are teams f...

It's not easy being a Bengals fan. For 20+ years, we've been the laughingstock of not only the football world, but the sporting world in general. Losing has beget losing, and it has become a badge of honor to still be a fan. Even the few good seasons leave us with guarded optimism at best for the next season. In 2005, we made the playoffs, but proceeded to lose right away, after losing Carson Palmer to a serious knee injury, so going into 2006, I was concerned, not excited. In 2009, we swept the division and made the playoffs again, but again went one and out, and going into 2010 with a 1st place schedule, and few changes, I was wary of repeating. Fast forward to this offseason. We drafted the guy who I felt was the best player in the draft with our first pick, and a QB with our second pick. Andy Dalton has been better than almost anybody thought, and has been the best pure QB in the draft, while AJ Green has a whole highlight reel worth of catches in 9 games, and might alread...

The word pride has a few meanings if you look it up. The first is self respect. When my daughter comes home from school and I find out she's reading at a level 2 grades above her own, I'm proud. I'm also proud after a long day at work when I know I've done a job above and beyond even what was required. Pride is your child's first home run. Pride is an employee of the month award. Pride is fighting for your country. Pride is standing up for what you believe in. The second meaning of pride in the dictionary is a group of lions. With the recent turmoil surrounding the university, there's a group of lions in Pennsylvania that need something to be proud of. The crimes allegedly perpetrated by a former member of the coaching staff, and the alleged subsequent cover-up is a scandal that will affect Penn State for years to come. In the midst of all of this, the players themselves have to start a season and play a football game, and one on the national stage. I'm...

Say goodbye to week 9, and to the byes for a week. The divisional races are heating up, and the 2nd half should be exciting. This week, in the spirit of goodbye, we say adios to the Eagles playoff chances, sayonara to the Chiefs winning streak, arrivederci to the notion of punting to Patrick Peterson, and aloha to another team's winless record. Here we go. Week 9 Power Rankings: 32. Indianapolis Colts-And then there was 1. They find a way to be more atrocious each week. 31. St Louis Rams-And we now continue with our regularly scheduled sucking. 30. Cleveland Browns-How does this team have 3 wins? 29. Miami Dolphins-They finally got a lead so big, even they couldn't blow it. 28. Seattle Seahawks-The city of Seattle would like their Sonics back, and they'll trade the Seahawks for them. 27. Arizona Cardinals-Their win was more of an indictment of the Rams than a reflection on Arizona. 26. Washington Redskins-Maybe they can get McNabb back. 25. Jacksonville Jaguars-T...

Eight weeks down, nine to go. San Francisco and Green Bay seem in good shape, but every other division is a mess. This week-the Steelers break through, the Rams get a win, the Ravens fight back, and the Chargers collapse in a totally new way. Here we go: Week 8 Power Rankings: 32. Indianapolis Colts-I initially though Curtis Painter would lead them to a few wins, and they'd wind up drafting around 3rd or 4th. I change my mind. 31. Miami Dolphins-Another week, another blown lead. Maybe they should try falling behind, then coming back insead...oh wait, they already tried that. 30. Arizona Cardinals-Thanks Arizona! Sincerely, The Bengals and Steelers. 29. Denver Broncos-I've made a lot of fun of Tebow, and he does stink, but so does this entire team. Is Josh McDaniels secretly still in charge? 28. St Louis Rams-Caught a little bit of World Series fever and just blindsided the Saints. Don't expect this to be a trend. 27. Seattle Seahawks-They should never start Charlie...

I should say in advance, I'm not a baseball guy. Call me a grudge-holder, but I haven't watched an entire game of baseball since we were screwed out of maybe the greatest season of baseball in history by a bunch of greedy millionaires. I check the standings to see how my Reds are doing, and keep tabs on what some of the players that I like are doing, and to see if the Yankees lose. Other than that, I really couldn't care less. There are a lot of current players that I don't recognize when I see a stat sheet or a Sportscenter highlight, and I don't bother to learn much about them afterwords. Baseball isn't important to me.     Last night, as my wife went to bed, I happened to see that Game 6 of the World Series was in the 9th inning, and the Rangers were 3 outs away from winning its first championship, so I flipped it over to catch the end. Now, as I said, I don't care much about it anymore, but watching a guy I had never heard of named Freese slap a triple ...

Week 7 is in the books. My Bengals were off, so I watched a few different games this week, and was generally entertained. This week: The Ravens flop, the Dolphins collapse, the Saints blow up, and the Titans just blow. Here we go. Week 7 Power Rankings: 32. Miami Dolphins-The only thing worse than being a team having to rely on Tebow, is blowing a 2 TD lead in 5 minutes to a team relying on Tebow. 31. Indianapolis Colts-62?? Really? 30. St Louis Rams-You just made DeMarco Murray look like Tony Dorsett. Great work. 29. Arizona Cardinals-Is Larry Fitzgerald on suicide watch yet? 28. Seattle Seahawks-It was an epic defensive struggle...OK, I just can't do it. That was one crappy game. 27. Minnesota Vikings-Christian Ponder brought some excitement and played well, but the Packers are just too good. 26. Denver Broncos-So Tebow stinks up the joint for 95% of the game, beats Miami's prevent D, and is now a great QB? Gotcha. 25. Jacksonville Jaguars-Great win, and played wit...

Another fun week of NFL action has passed, with craziness galore. The big news is the Palmer trade, but this week, the Lions fall, the Bucs bounce back, the Vikings fail to even show up, and Brady does it again.  Here we go. Week 6 Power Rankings: 32. Miami Dolphins: Matt Moore picks up right where Chad Henne left off. 31. St Louis Rams: They're not even sucking for Luck. They just suck. 30. Minnesota Vikings: Should have just stayed on the bus. Good to know that their one win was a fluke. 29. Indianapolis Colts: Kept themselves in the game again. One of these days they'll get over the hump, unfortunately for them, it probably keeps them from Luck. 28. Jacksonville Jaguars-Stayed close with the Steelers, but they're just not very good. 27. Denver Broncos-They prepared Tebow by trading away their best WR. Is Josh McDaniels back? 26. Arizona Cardinals-A bye week to prepare for Pittsburgh. Yeah, I don't think it'll help either. 25. Cleveland Browns-Peyton Hi...

Week 5 is in the books, and the bye weeks have begun. This week, the Niners surprise, the Jets have internal issues, the Bills rebound, and Tebow-mania fires up. Here we go. Week 5 Power Rankings: 32. Miami Dolphins-Sage Rosenfels should have had a 1-hr ESPN special to announce he was going to Miami. 31. St Louis Rams-They get an extra week to prepare for Green Bay. They need an extra year. 30. Indianapolis Colts-Somebody apparently reminded them they needed to "suck for Luck" at halftime. 29. Jacksonville Jaguars-Maurice Jones-Drew really really deserves a raise. 28. Denver Broncos-Great, ESPN will have wall-to-wall Tebow coverage now, or maybe ESPN4-the Tebow Network. 27. Arizone Cardinals-The entire team got trucked by AP. 26. Minnesota Vikings-Finally put a team away, although it was Arizona, so..you know. 25. Kansas City Chiefs-Nice comeback win, but it was Indy, so..you know. 24. Cleveland Browns-Not a good bye week, with Hillis drama and Bernard pulling a R...

We're a quarter of the way through the season. Week 4 saw Minnesota lose the ALCS (or is it win?), Buffalo lose their unbeaten record, Dallas and Philly lose big leads, and the Jets lose an ugly one. Here we go: Week 4 Power Rankings: 32. Minnesota Vikings-Well, at least they didn't blow a 2nd half lead this time. Is that an improvement? 31. Miami Dolphins-Things actually have gone from bad to worse. 30. St Louis Rams-Have played a horrendous schedule, but they just look terrible. 29. Indianapolis Colts-Have stayed close with a couple of good teams, but can't manage to pull it off. Has one single player ever meant so much to a team? 28. Kansas City Chiefs-They're only higher than the above teams by virtue of their win. They stink. 27. Jacksonville Jaguars-Should have kept Garrard around a bit longer. 26. Seattle Seahawks-Got back in the game in the 2nd half, but seem to have forgotten that you do have to play the 1st half too. 25. Denver Broncos-Hard to judge...

101. She randomly brings home fresh doughnuts in the mornings. 100. She is working her ass off to finish school and have a career.  99. She actually wants to buy me a nice car, just to rub it in certain people's face.  98. She refuses to watch movies I want her to watch, but then enjoys them when she finally gives in.  97. I'm fairly sure she could kick my ass.  96. She bought me tickets to see Seether in concert as a surprise.  95. She'd defend our daughter with the ferocity of a rabid monkey if threatened.  94. She loses her keys EVERY SINGLE DAY.  93. She tells me Seinfeld is stupid, but laughs at it anyway.  92. I love hearing her yell at customer service representatives for companies who have screwed something up.  91. The last time we watched a horror movie at the theater, every night I came home to, literally, every light in the house being on.  90. On our first date, we sat in the car and listened to a high school foot...

     There's a lot that I could do with but a single wish. So much could be done to improve my year. I could wish that my Cincinnati Bengals wouldn't suck, that we'd have a run at the top, and better yet, the Steelers would have a turn at the bottom of the league for 20 years or so.  Andy Dalton really WOULD be Joe Montana, with AJ Green as his Jerry Rice. There would be no more legal troubles. Mike Brown would hire a GM, build a practice bubble, get some scouts, and hire a great HC.  Bengals fans could finally be rewarded for years of loyalty.      Or my Kentucky Wildcats could become even more dominant. We'd win 3 straight championships, beating Duke in the finals of every game, at least 1 of them at the last second so I can stop seeing Christian Laettner every March. John Calipari could stop being compared with Rick Pitino, and would sign a lifetime contract, and more importantly, would really honor it. We'd sign the best players eve...

I confess when I was 20 years old, I could play basketball 1-on-1 with anybody. Failing to play in high school is one of my biggest regrets. I confess Seinfeld is the greatest show of all time. I confess werewolves were what went bump in the night at my house. They scared me then, and quite frankly, they scare me now. I confess I was far too nervous to ask out girls that I liked in school. I confess I have always used humor to cover up my insecurities. I confess I am a big baby when I'm sick. I confess I have had some of the dumbest pets ever during my lifetime. I confess I would watch sports 24 hours a day if it were possible. I confess I love to play fantasy football, but hate losing, and usually regret playing. I confess on a related note, I'm a very sore loser. I confess if Duke, the Dallas Cowboys, Notre Dame, the New York Yankees, or the Lakers win their respective championships, it ruins my year. I confess I'd love to try sky diving, but I'd probably p...