My thoughts on sports and life

Gladys Knight opens things up singing America the Beautiful. That leads us directly into the opening match. Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse "The Body" Ventura are our announcers. A battle royal is on tap to start the show. Twenty-Man Battle Royal As always, there's no real way to cover this thing. It's a mass of humanity, and it's hard to see anything, but it only takes about 30 seconds for Sam Houston to go flying over the top, eliminated by Danny Davis. Eliminated: Sam Houston Five seconds later, another one bites the dust. Eliminated: Sika George "The Animal" Steele is outside the ring, on the floor, randomly pulling on legs. I guess that's one strategy. Both Killer Bees are nearly eliminated, but manage to stay in. Danny Davis hangs on as well. Steele antagonizes Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart, then grabs him and pulls him out when he leans down. Eliminated: Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart Ramon Rougeau and both Killer Bees somehow ...

We open with the usual introductions from the wrestlers participating in the show. Hulk Hogan tells the camera that "He will never bow. He will never break." I'm guessing that's where Breaking Benjamin got the idea for the song. Ok. Maybe not. Anyway..... Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake vs Greg "The Hammer" Valentine w/ Jimmy Hart These two are former tag team partners, and they did mention that in the pre-match interviews, which was good story-telling. Beefcake's ring attire leaves little to the imagination, and Jesse Ventura asks Vince McMahon if that excites him. Vince responds that Elizabeth excites him. Wild. As the action starts, they have a little back and forth. Brutus hits a high knee that takes The Hammer off his feet. A boot to the face follows, and Beefcake struts like Ric Flair. A pair of atomic drops are hilariously sold by Valentine. The referee steps in between the two as they grapple in the corner, and Valentine takes the op...