It's a Resolution Revolution
Well, it's that time of year. It's time for us to make promises and set goals that we have no hope, or intention, of keeping or attaining beyond, maybe, a month. Yes, it's New Year's resolution time. Whether it's to stop smoking or drinking, or to lose weight, or to simply spend more time with the family, we'll all put in maximum effort in for a short period of time before they find us passed out, with a cheeseburger in one hand and a pack of Marlboro in the other.
This year, I'm foregoing this tradition, not because I don't need to improve on things (trust me, that's not the case), but because resolutions always seem so hollow, and therefore, easily broken. I mean, how can you take a person saying they're going to quit drinking seriously, when they make that promise while drunk? I do have some things that need working on,though, like everybody else.
I could vow to not be such a sore loser. I am the most competitive person I know, and if you don't believe me, try me. (I'll win, easily, and you suck). Ahem, where was I? This need to win ranges from video games, to card games, to sports. When Kentucky lost to Duke on the Christian Laettner shot, I stomped on my UK hat, threw it out the window, and punch a hole in my wall. When I watch the Bengals lose (which is a lot), It ruins my entire weekend. If I play basketball, and miss a shot (luckily not very often), the expletives tend to fly, regardless of children or respected members of society in the area. My resolution last year was to skip fantasy football this year, the reason being, that when I lose, it ruins my week, even if my team wins. (I obviously broke that promise). I do come by that naturally. My father and brother both are highly competitive. Card games with the family are quite combative. (A game of UNO shouldn't end up with cards being thrown around the house).
I should also resolve to eat better and get in better shape. I'm only 5'11 3/4" (Don't forget the 3/4), but when I was 21, I could dunk a basketball. I could also run all day long, playing several games in a row. I could go for a run, and make it miles before I got tired. I could swim for hours at the lake. Now, I get winded going to get the mail. I don't know when it happened, but I realized at some point that not only could I not dunk anymore, but I couldn't even touch the rim (I can still shoot the lights out if you want to shoot against me. You suck). I often just eat whatever's convenient, regardless of nutritional value. I've also gotten lazy as I've gotten older. It'd be nice to be able to go for a run that didn't end with an ambulance trip.
I want to resolve to read more. I love to read, and I used to read often and fast (probably faster than you because you suck). I read all 1100+ pages of The Stand, by Stephen King, in about 5 days. I don't quite read at that rate anymore. The last book I finished took about 3 months, and it was only around 300 pages. My wife makes fun of me for reading more than one book at a time. I keep one downstairs, one upstairs, one or two on my phone, and that's not counting the plethora of comics I read monthly. So, I'm reading a lot, just slowly. The list of books I want to read is long, and with the impending heart attack on the horizon, I need to get going.
Then there's the popular resolution to spend more time with the family. I just don't get this one. Who are people spending time with right now? I have a job, and my wife has a job, but other than that, we're together. I don't go out unless it's somewhere together. This just seems like a cheap way to say you completed a resolution. (So it doesn't count, and yes, you suck, cheater).
I guess, this year, rather than make a nominal resolution that I probably won't keep anyway, I'll just work on being a better me overall. I will continue to love my wife, and make her as happy as I promised I'd make her when we got married. I'll try to raise my kids the right way, and show them how much I love them. I'll just try to be respectful of people in general (except the idiots). I know I won't be able to live up to any rigid standard I set for myself, so I'll just try to live up to what my family hopes I can be. (except when we play cards, then I'm kicking their asses). Hmm, maybe I should work on that sportsmanship thing after all. Happy New Year everybody!!!!
This year, I'm foregoing this tradition, not because I don't need to improve on things (trust me, that's not the case), but because resolutions always seem so hollow, and therefore, easily broken. I mean, how can you take a person saying they're going to quit drinking seriously, when they make that promise while drunk? I do have some things that need working on,though, like everybody else.
I could vow to not be such a sore loser. I am the most competitive person I know, and if you don't believe me, try me. (I'll win, easily, and you suck). Ahem, where was I? This need to win ranges from video games, to card games, to sports. When Kentucky lost to Duke on the Christian Laettner shot, I stomped on my UK hat, threw it out the window, and punch a hole in my wall. When I watch the Bengals lose (which is a lot), It ruins my entire weekend. If I play basketball, and miss a shot (luckily not very often), the expletives tend to fly, regardless of children or respected members of society in the area. My resolution last year was to skip fantasy football this year, the reason being, that when I lose, it ruins my week, even if my team wins. (I obviously broke that promise). I do come by that naturally. My father and brother both are highly competitive. Card games with the family are quite combative. (A game of UNO shouldn't end up with cards being thrown around the house).
I should also resolve to eat better and get in better shape. I'm only 5'11 3/4" (Don't forget the 3/4), but when I was 21, I could dunk a basketball. I could also run all day long, playing several games in a row. I could go for a run, and make it miles before I got tired. I could swim for hours at the lake. Now, I get winded going to get the mail. I don't know when it happened, but I realized at some point that not only could I not dunk anymore, but I couldn't even touch the rim (I can still shoot the lights out if you want to shoot against me. You suck). I often just eat whatever's convenient, regardless of nutritional value. I've also gotten lazy as I've gotten older. It'd be nice to be able to go for a run that didn't end with an ambulance trip.
I want to resolve to read more. I love to read, and I used to read often and fast (probably faster than you because you suck). I read all 1100+ pages of The Stand, by Stephen King, in about 5 days. I don't quite read at that rate anymore. The last book I finished took about 3 months, and it was only around 300 pages. My wife makes fun of me for reading more than one book at a time. I keep one downstairs, one upstairs, one or two on my phone, and that's not counting the plethora of comics I read monthly. So, I'm reading a lot, just slowly. The list of books I want to read is long, and with the impending heart attack on the horizon, I need to get going.
Then there's the popular resolution to spend more time with the family. I just don't get this one. Who are people spending time with right now? I have a job, and my wife has a job, but other than that, we're together. I don't go out unless it's somewhere together. This just seems like a cheap way to say you completed a resolution. (So it doesn't count, and yes, you suck, cheater).
I guess, this year, rather than make a nominal resolution that I probably won't keep anyway, I'll just work on being a better me overall. I will continue to love my wife, and make her as happy as I promised I'd make her when we got married. I'll try to raise my kids the right way, and show them how much I love them. I'll just try to be respectful of people in general (except the idiots). I know I won't be able to live up to any rigid standard I set for myself, so I'll just try to live up to what my family hopes I can be. (except when we play cards, then I'm kicking their asses). Hmm, maybe I should work on that sportsmanship thing after all. Happy New Year everybody!!!!
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